Their Chosen Battle
by Not A Droid
Summary: The Sequel to "The Way Forward" Emily Prentiss and Spencer Reid have been dating six months, and things are not going well. Can they work things out in the end, or will they lose their chosen battle to be together? Rated M for language and sex scenes.
1. Part I:Stormy Weather

_Disclaimer: I do not own Criminal Minds. No copyright infringement is intended. I'm just having some fun playing with these wonderful characters._

_A/N: This is my sequel to "The Way Forward". Dr. Spencer Reid and Emily Prentiss have been dating for 6 months. However, the past few months have been contentious, so they are going to couples therapy._

**Chapter 1: Stormy Weather**

_"To overcome difficulties is to experience the full delight of existence." - Arthur Schopenhauer_

* * *

Dr. Joseph Frankl looked at the couple sitting in his office at the Samaritan Counseling Center. At first glance, they looked as mismatched as any couple could look.

The man was in his twenties, long and lanky wearing a sweater vest and tie. If Dr. Frankl didn't have the file in front of him, he would have the man pegged as an academic of some sort, perhaps a grad student. He wouldn't have pegged him as doctor, let alone one with 3 PhD's. He certainly wouldn't have thought the man worked for the FBI. He had been surprised to see the young man use a cane. As he sat there, he looked for all the world like a student who had been sent to the principle's office.

The woman was much different, dressed like a lawyer in a suit that looked both professional and elegant. Dr. Frankl placed her in her thirties. He had a much easier time believing she worked for the FBI. At the same time, though, she had a haunted look about her. Every so often the two of them would steal looks at the other, always with a sense of guilt or worry.

"So," Dr. Frankl began," Spencer, Emily, I see here that Dr. Stephens referred you to me. It's not usual for me to have couples in here who have together for 6 months unless they're married. Perhaps you could talk about what brought you here."

"Our boss," the young man, Dr. Spencer Reid, said.

"Our boss suggested therapy, but that's _not_ what brought here, Spencer," said the woman, Emily Prentiss.

"So what did?" Dr. Frankl asked.

"We've been fighting." She said it in a low voice.

"Well, conflict is a part of most relationships." Dr. Frankl said in a soothing voice, hoping to elicit more details.

"The problem is we work together," Dr. Reid said. "It got so bad our boss spoke to me about it."

"Is that when he recommended therapy?"

"No."

* * *

"Spencer, we need to talk," Aaron Hotchner looked serious. Of course, he always looked serious at work. Of course this time he had a reason to look so serious. Six months ago Dr. Reid and Emily Prentiss starting dating. It wasn't an ideal situation, but they both promised they could be professional and see each other. Hotch had trusted them, and for several months everything was fine.

But not lately. Lately it seemed like the two of them were snapping at each other. On the last case, the locals could sense the animosity between the two agents. Hotch and JJ smoothed everything over, but it was past time for Hotch to sit his agents down for a talk. Emily had already left, and Spencer was the only one left still in the office.

"What is it, Hotch?" Spencer knew, but he didn't know what to say. He knew it was bad if Hotch was calling him by his first name.

"I think you know. Whatever is going on between the two of you...It's got to end. I've given the two of you room to work it out, but it's starting to affect your work. If it continues, one of you may need to go."

The discomfort and awkwardness Dr. Reid felt from how things had gotten between him and Emily over the past 6 weeks transformed into panic. He's talking about a transfer! Crap!

"How would that work, Hotch?"

"What?"

"If things got that bad, how would you choose who went?"

"I'm hoping it won't go that far."

"But if it did?"

"The fairness would be seniority, of course. But Reid, I don't want to even think about that. Look, I don't know what happened between the two of you, and I don't need to know. Just... try to work it out.

* * *

"So what happened next,"Dr. Frankl asked. "Did the two of you talk about it?"

"No," Emily said. "Genius over there," her words dripped with venom, "decided he wanted to take a leave of absence. He didn't talk to me about it until he made up his mind and arranged it." She looked at Spencer with murder in her eyes.

Dr. Reid seemed to shrink into himself, managing to look more and more ashamed of his actions.

"Tell me more," Dr. Frankl said.

* * *

"Leave of absence! What do you mean you're taking a leave of absence?" Emily wasn't asking so much as she was shrieking.

"I'm just taking a break from for a couple of weeks."

"A break? From what?"

"From the team. It's a research project I've wanted to do, it's just not the kind the FBI pays for. It'll just be a few weeks. Just a good break."

"When you say a break from the team, you mean from me. Go ahead, just say it. You just tell me you want a break from me."

"Maybe it would be good if we had a few days apart. We always seem to argue. Like now."

Emily was quiet for a few moments. "You're a coward. Just like you're father. Things get a little tough and you want to run. So go ahead, Spencer. Run. Go on your little break. Maybe you don't need to come back!"

* * *

Emily was hanging her head. It was hurt her to remember how badly she had yelled at Spencer. She didn't see Spencer's reaction to her. His hand kept reaching out to touch her, reassure her perhaps. But Dr. Frankl saw Dr. Reid's hand hesitate, in fear perhaps.

"Your father?" Dr. Frankl asked.

"Yeah, "Spencer said. " He left me and my mother when I was 10." From the look on his face, Dr. Frankl guessed Reid was reliving being abandoned by his father. The interesting thing to Fr. Frankl, however, was Emily's reaction. She wasn't hanging her head, anymore. She was looking at Reid, sympathy in her eyes. Her hand raised a few times, like it wanted to hold Spencer's hand. Each time it raised, however, it returned to her lap.

"So, if Spencer here was going to away, how did the two of you end up here?"

"I had a talk with our boss," Emily said.

* * *

A few days after Reid told Prentiss about taking a leave of absence, she found herself in Hotch's office. He had called her in. "Did Reid talk to you about taking a few weeks off?"

"Yes. There's a research project he wants to do."

"Emily, I think we both know it has very little to do with research. Look, I'm sorry for how things have between you two. I understand if the two of you think this is the best thing. I just want both of you to understand, I wasn't threatening to transfer anyone yet."

Emily's head snapped up. "Excuse me?"

Hotch suddenly realized that Reid hadn't talked to Emily about their little chat.

"I talked to Reid a few days a go, and I told him I was concerned about you two. I told him, just to underline the serious ness of the situaiton, that if the two of you couldn't find a way to get along I might need to transfer someone. I think he latched on to that, and not my concern about you two."

"You said one of us might get transferred?"

"I mentioned it, but I told him I wasn't looking to do that unless it was necessary."

"If it was, who would you transfer?"

"I really haven't given it any thought."

"But if you did, you would want to be fair, right? So what, probably by seniority?"

"Probably, but I really don't want to do that at all."

"Sir, maybe you should have these talks when both of us are in the room."

"I'm sorry. It was on my mind and you had already left. I ... I'm sorry Emily."

"It's fine. It is really is. How set in stone is his leave of absence?"

"It's still being considered."

"I see. Excuse me for a moment, would you." When she left, Aaron Hotchner felt a need to massage the bridge of his nose. He was steeling himself for a maelstorm of yelling he was sure was coming. Did he just pour gasoline on a fire?

Down in the bullpen, Emily found Ried and said,"Dr. Reid, may I speak with you a moment?"

Spencer Reid saw the look in her eyes, and realized it wasn't so much a question as a command. "Sure."

She lead him into a corner of the bullpen and said,"You idiot. You fucking moron."

"Emily, look," he started to say, but she cut him off.

"It's hard to believe that you have 3 PhDs, and you're just another neanderthal."

"I.. What?"

"I just spoke to Hotch. Tell me the leave of absence isn't because you were afraid I was going to get transferred out. Just tell me that."

"You worked so hard to get here. And if he told you it was for the good of the team, you'd do it. You almost gave this up so Strauss couldn't use you for her games. I... It wouldn't be right if you had to leave because of me."

"Spencer, listen to me very carefully. If you take that leave of absence, I will not be here when you get back. We are very close to being done. If you want to save what we have, you have to talk to me. Now, we can either go up and talk to our boss about what's going on, or you can go away, and I'll go too. Your choice."

* * *

"And he chose to stay?"

"I did." Spencer said. "We talked to Hotch. He told us he was seeing a therapist, and suggested it was something we might want to think about it. So we met with Dr. Stephens, and he suggested you might be able to help us."

"I see. So how did the two of you start seeing each other?"

"I'm a ... a recovering drug addict," Spencer. We were finishing a case and I had...cravings. I asked Emily if she could stay with me. I was..afraid what would have happened if I was alone."

"Was she the first one you thought of, when you thought of people to stay with?"

"She was the only one I thought of."

"And you Emily, " Dr. Frankl asked, "you were open to this."

"Of course."

"If he asked you that today, would you."

"Of course I would."

"And so, that was the beginning. So tell me, did the two of you fight a lot in the beginning?"

"No." They said in unison.

"So, when did the fighting begin?"

"Six weeks ago," Spencer said.

"Really. What started it?"

"She started being jealous."

"Oh no you don't. Don't you put this on me."

Dr. Frankl put up his hand. "One moment Emily. Spencer, she was jealous? Of who?"

"Any woman who talked to me. She thought they all wanted me."

"I know that look."

"You are the only one who looks at me like that."

"Don't tell me you don't notice. You..."

"All right you two." Dr. Frankl's voice was gentle, yet firm. "Emily, what do you think started it?"

"I asked him if he wanted kids."

"That started a long time before 6 weeks ago."

"Maybe if you didn't keep changing the subject when I brought it up. Every time I brought it up."

"Okay, let's shift focus for just a moment, " Dr. Frankl said. "Emily, what's the longest you've ever been in a relationship."

"Six months."

"And you Spencer?"

"A few weeks at the most."

"Really?"

"Women look at me more like an oddity than anything else. After a few weeks the novelty wears off."

"Spencer," Emily started and the look on her face signaled to Dr. Frankl that she looked at him as so much more.

"All right, it's soon time to wrap up. But I want to tell both of you, I see a lot of hope here. I just want to tell you the same thing I tell every couple I counsel. Things can work out for the two of you, and I think I can help you do it. but what I want the two of you to understand is as long as the two of you think of yourselves as Spencer and Emily, or Spencer or Emily, or even Spencer vs. Emily it will be hit or miss. When the two of you look at your _relationship _as the most important thing in your lives, when you make sacrifices and compromises not to each other but to the relationship... that's when you can know it will last. I can help you get there, but only if the two of you are willing to accept that as your goal. That's where we'll pick things up next time."

* * *

Outside, in the Samaritan Counseling Center's parking lot, Dr. Reid and Emily looked at each other. They had driven here in separate cars, they were reluctant to drive away. It felt to both of them that they had things that needed to be said, but neither one knew where, or how, to begin. They stood there a while, in an uncomfortable silence that bordered on feeling oppressive, when suddenly both their cellphones rang.

"No." Emily said. She knew if both their cellphones were going off at the same time, it meant they had a case.

When they answered their calls, her suspicions were confirmed. They needed to go.

"We need to talk." she said.

"What, exactly do we need to talk about?"

"What do you mean?"

"It seems to me, there is only one thing we have to decide right now. Do we want to continue with this? Do we want to stay together, to try to achieve what he was just talking about? I don't know about you, but I want to. I've screwed Emily. I know that. I've been standing here, trying to think of words that could possibly explain how sorry I am about how I've been acting. There aren't any, but I know I want to do better. What about you? Do you want to try to fix this?"

"Yes."

"That may be all we need to talk about, right this second. If this case means going away, we might have a chance to spen alone. We can ask JJ to get us a room together."

"It just...I feel like so much to say."

"There is, but I think all we need to say is this." Reid hugged her and held her tight. " I love you Emily. I'm not running. I don't think you are either." Then he kissed her. The kiss started as chaste, but she held on to him and the kiss became passionate.

When their lips parted, Emily said in a reluctant tone, "We've got to go. You're right though, this is all we needed to say right now."

* * *

_A/N: I had actually meant to stretch this over a couple chapters, but the fic already has a mind of it's own._


	2. Part I:Intimacy After the Case

_Disclaimer: I do not own Criminal Minds. No copyright infringement is intended. I'm just having some fun playing with these wonderful characters. I also don't own How Do I love Thee? Let Me Count the Ways by Elizabeth Barrett Browning or The Tiger by William Blake._

_A/N: Reid and Emily get some one on one time, and continue to work out some issues._

**Chapter 2: Intimacy After the Case**

Romantic love is sexually passionate love. Romance uses sexual intimacy to create or amplify closeness and mutual fulfillment. " - Peter R. Breggin

* * *

It had been a bad case. Child abductions, especially when they were part of home invasions, were always bad. The briefing took place on the plane, and everyone (including Reid and Prentiss) was in full case mode.

Hotch noticed that Reid and Prentiss sat next to each other, and the recent sniping between the two of them was gone. He took it as a good sign and didn't feel a need to comment further.

That harmony continued as they worked the case. It took 20 hours of work, but they were able to find the child alive. The unsub was a fairly disturbed individual who, fortunately, hadn't harmed the child. It was a good ending to the case.

"Everyone get some rest," Hotch said. "We'll fly back in the morning."

Most of the team went for drinks. Reid and Emily elected to stay in. In their hotel room, Spencer read a book while Emily took a shower.

Five weeks, he thought. It was five weeks since the two of them shared a bed. During that time he had been sleeping on a couch. Things were going well he thought. At least he hoped they were. Please don't let me mess it up, he thought.

It occurred to him that he was praying, but he couldn't articulate to who or what he was praying.

When he heard Emily come out of the bathroom, he looked up. God, she was beautiful.

"You've been reading that book for five weeks, haven't you?"

"You noticed."

"You can't tell me you haven't finished it yet. Not at the speed you read."

"I've been a bit off my game lately."

"Oh?" She had a hard look in her eyes.

Oh God, don't let her think I blame her, he thought. "I haven't been sleeping well."

"Really? Me either. I'd gotten used to you being there. I actually bought extra pillows to snuggle. It isn't the same."

"I've been sleeping on the couch."

"Excuse me?"

"If I try to sleep on the bed, I can't. So I sleep on the couch."

"You're kidding me."

"No."

"You don't have a very comfortable couch, Spencer. How's your back?"

"It's fine."

She shook her head. "Get on the bed. If you've been sleeping on the couch, then your back is all messed up. Lie down and I'll give you a massage."

"You don't have to."

"I want to, now lay down."

Reid lay on his stomach on the bed. Emily removed his T-shirt and moved her hand on his skin. She missed the texture of him. As she ran her fingers over him she said,"Oh Dr. Reid, you're so tense. You need to relax."

"I'm not good at that. Can you help me?"

"I was hoping you'd ask me that." As she began rub his back, and massage the muscles there, she leaned closer and closer. She was so close he could feel her breath on his skin. "Why couldn't you sleep on the bed, Spencer?"

"Ah, I don't know."

"Try again, dear. You've thought about it. I know you have. Why couldn't you sleep on your bed alone?"

"I...I was just to big. I reach out, realize I was alone. Then I'd remember why."

She massaged his back as she thought about that.

"Pillows?" he asked.

"She let out a nervous laugh. "I just used to having you there. It's not quite the same, but I could fool myself that I wasn't alone." She leaned close, so her mouth was less than an inch from his ear, "But a pillow doesn't really keep you warm. A pillow can't communicate tenderness with a touch. And no pillow recites poetry or statistics."

She sat up, and then Spence turned around, so he faced her and she straddled him.

"I'm sorry," she said in a soft quiet voice. "I'm sorry," she said again, louder this time.

"For what?"

"For pushing you. For the yelling. For being jealous. For saying you were acting like your father."

"I was acting like Dad though. And Gideon. I tried to run away."

"You had a reason."

"No. I had an excuse. We both know the difference." He looked into her eyes for a moment and said,"I'm sorry. For all the times you wanted to talk and I didn't. That I wouldn't. I'm sorry." He reached his hand up and gently touched the side of her face. It felt moist. He realized there were tears running down her cheek. Oh God, he thought, did I just make things worse?

She put her hand over his on her cheek. His hand felt good, sandwiched between her hand and cheek. "I love you Spencer."

"I love you too, Em." They both realized they just forgave each other. It didn't mean the hurt that caused each other was gone, but it meant the emotional wall they built between them was starting to come apart.

"No statistics about apologies?" she asked, just wanting to hear him talk.

"No. No statistics." He sat up, and removed her sleeping shirt. He kissed her and said," How do I love thee? Let me count the ways." He always repeat poetry with an intense whisper when they were being intimate. "I love thee to the depth and breadth and My soul can reach reach."

He kept kissing her as he guided her gently onto her back, so he was now on top of her. He kissed his way down her jawline, down to her breasts. While he kissed and nibbled on one breast, he tugged and tweaked the other. The combination of him deftly doing both at the same time cause her to let out a soft moan, followed by her softly saying,"Oh, Spencer."

There was a time he thought he would never do this again, and he would never her speak those words again. He was never more delighted to be wrong.

He moved himself further south on her body, until his mouth was positioned near her sex. He intended to go slow, to maximize her pleasure. Once he began to lick and suck down there, however, he couldn't help himself. This was one of a thousand things about her he missed. As he tasted her down there, she began moan and groaning with pleasure., then suddenly her legs locked around his head bringing him close to her as she climaxed. When she was finished, she released him..

As she stood up and she said,"Did I ... did hurt you?"

"No," he said, and crawled on top of her again kissing her and then inserting himself inside of her. They usually liked to build momentum slowly, but tonight things were more frenetic. Tonight, they were hungry after not having this kind of physical intimacy for five weeks. As they hips bucked against each other, both of them moan in pleasure, until them both climaxed, almost at the same time. After they did, they collapsed against each other, holding each other tightly.

They lay like that for some time, completely entangled on and in each other, without speaking.

Spencer broke the silence, "I don't have any statistics about this. I think we're both one of a kind. I don't want this to ever end."

Emily was quiet for a moment and then she said,"You know, growing up, Mom always told me to pick my battles. My father told me, choosing battles doesn't mean pick the fights you can win or win easily. It means picking the battles that are worth winning."

"And?"

"You and me is a battle worth fighting for. I don't want us to end either."

"Then we're agreed on what we're doing?"

"Yes."

They were both quiet for a moment and then Spencer asked," It still feels like there's a lot we need to say."

"No. Not right now. Except for one thing."

"What's that?"

Emily climbed on top of him, and began to ruin her hands on his chest. With a smile, she said,"In what distant deeps or skies Burnt the fire of thine eyes! On what wings dare he aspire? What the hand, dare seize the fire?" The she kissed him, and they began their dance of physical intimacy again.


	3. Part I: Mothers

_Disclaimer: I do not own Criminal Minds_

_A/N: I want to thank every one who has reviewed the previous chapters. In this chapter, we hear from Reid's and Emily's mothers._

**Chapter 3:Mothers**

"The joys of parents are secret, and so are their griefs and fears: they cannot utter the one, nor will they utter the other. - Francis Bacon

* * *

Diana Reid would describe herself as a woman of simple needs. The Bennington Institute met those needs. When she first came there, she looked at it as a prison. Over time,however, it became her home. Her room was just the way she wanted it. She had her books, which were some of her most prized possessions. Her most prized possessions were her letters from her son Spencer.

To her, he would always be Spencer, not Dr. Reid. She chose to never think of him as an FBI agent. She shuddered to think that somehow her special boy allowed himself to work with the fascist government. Most of the time, she could easily ignore that he worked for the government. She chose to think that he was helping people and fighting bad people.

In addition to his letters, she had a few pictures. One of those pictures showed Spencer and a lovely brunette. Some days Diana remembered the woman's name was Emily. She was a ..friend. On very good days, Diana remembered that the two of them were dating, and that Emily was a co-worker of Spencer's.

As she re-read the recent letters, he didn't mention Emily as much. "We're not getting along Mom. Nothing I seem to say is right anymore. As soon as either one of us says something, the other one says mean things. I cringe at every word, and I don't know what to do. I should have known better than to hope this would last."

That short sentence brought her to tears. She met Emily, and she saw how happy the two of them were. The love that existed between the two of them was evident. Unfortunately every letter from Spencer chronicled what might be the death knells of their relationship. It made Diana very sad, and she wished there was something she could do for her son.

When his most recent letter came, she couldn't bring herself to open it. She used it as a bookmark for the book she was re-reading. The book was about Tristan and Isolde, which made it difficult not to think about her son and his girlfriend. Finally, she couldn't stand it anymore. She opened it, her hand trembling. Please, she thought, let things be better for him. He's face so much pain in his life. Let him have this joy. She unfolded the the letter and read it.

_Dear Mom,_

_I feel like so many of my recent letters have been full of sadness, that this one should be a happier one. The fortunate thing is that things are better. Remember how Emily and I have been fighting? Well, we've started to make up with each other. We've also started to see a therapist. I don't know if that seems strange to you, since we aren't married, but I'm glad we are. After our first session, things seemed better. _

_I have to admit, things were so bad I almost ran away like Dad and Gideon did. Emily stopped me though, and I'm glad she did. The past few weeks have been terrible while we've been mad at each other, and now that we've mostly forgiven each other things are much better. I don't what I could have done to deserve to have such a wonderful person in my life._

The letter went on to talk about some the things the two of them have been doing together, and a book Spencer had been reading but never quite comprehended what it was about. He thought it was because the whole time he was reading it, he and Emily were mad at each other. Now that things were better though, he read it quickly and everything fell into place in his mind.

Diana smiled. It was good things were better. She looked at the picture of Spencer and Emily, and she remembered the day they visited her. She told Spencer, "That's the mother of my grandchildren." He looked partly embarrassed, but Diana was certain the two of them would be married and have a family. Maybe it was just that she hoped Spencer would find the happiness that Diana and his father ultimately failed to sustain.

She read his letter again, and smiled to see that happiness might indeed be in her son's grasp.

* * *

On the other side of the country, Ambassador Elizabeth Prentiss was having lunch with her daughter Emily. Even though the two women lived in close proximity to each other, they didn't see each other that often. At least, that didn't until recently. Until Elizabeth's Christmas party when Emily brought her boyfriend and co-worker Dr. Spencer Reid to meet her mother. Like many meetings between Emily and her mother, it began with politeness and part way through it filled Emily with an irritation she couldn't put aside.

One of the great regrets of Elizabeth Prentiss's life was her inability to relate with her daughter. It seemed that no matter what, she always seemed to stir up bad feelings in her daughter. Starting that night, however, her daughter seemed to soften. The anger that started in Emily when she was a teenager seemed to slowly leave her. Elizabeth was convinced it was a direct result of Emily's relationship with Dr. Spencer Reid.

Dr. Spencer Reid. He was something of a mystery to Elizabeth. She knew a few things about him: IQ of 187, eidetic memory, 3 PhDs, several BAs, and he looked like a strong breeze would knock him down. He was about 10 years younger than Emily, and sometimes he talked like an excited child. There was something inside him, though, that seemed to bring something out of her daughter that Elizabeth rarely saw. At first, she called it happiness but it was something more than that. It was a kind of peace that her daughter hadn't had since she hit puberty.

At least, until 6 weeks ago.

Since the holidays, Emily and Elizabeth had lunch about once a week. During those lunches, Emily's face lit up when she talked about Spencer. Six weeks ago, however, there was a look of trouble. Things were not going well. As always, it took a third degree interrogation to get it out of Emily. Elizabeth feared she had somehow taught her daughter to bury her feelings. It was something as a diplomat you had to do, but that was when you deal with other countries, not from the people who love you. Every week, Emily was getting steadily worse.

Today, though... Today Emily seemed in better spirits. She was smiling, and her eyes had that sense of peace Elizabeth had first seen a few months ago. It encourage Elizabeth enough to ask her daughter how work was going. Asking Emily about work was a way to gauge how things were going and how things would be during lunch. When things were bad, Emily was defensive and even accusatory towards her mother's questions. When things were going well, Emily spoke in generalities, sparing her mother gruesome details. She would, however, tell her about how the team was doing:about Hotch and his son Jack, about the crazy thins Garcia says, and about JJ and Will.

"Things are going well, Mom," Emily said. "I mean, it's never good when someone needs us but we just got back from a case and were able to save a child from a very disturbed man."

"So things are going well?"

"Yes they are." She paused. "I know you had to listen to a lot of bad news from me lately, but things are going well. Things are going well with Spencer too."

"Oh?" Elizabeth did her best to sound casual.

"We actually made it through most of the week without fighting."

"Oh good. What changed?"

"Mom, do we have to make every conversation an interrogation?"

"I'm not Emily, but for six weeks you've been fighting with Spencer almost non-stop. If the two aren't either he transferred to the west coast or something happened and things got better. So something good happened."

Emily's eyes got that angry look Elizabeth saw too often when her daughter was a teenager. "It doesn't matter what changed mother. Things are better now, that's what matters."

Elizabeth Prentiss knew when she beat. "Of course, Emily. I'm sorry."

They moved onto other things. Elizabeth was in the middle of telling Emily about her cousin Rose getting engaged when she realized her daughter was beginning to scowl again. What could she possibly be getting mad about?

"What's wrong Emily?"

"Nothing. Nothing's wrong. You sound so pleased about Rose."

"Of course. It's always good to see things start to go well."

"Really."

Elizabeth thought she was good at reading people, and knowing what to say, but she consistently failed with Emily. She took a direct approach, knowing it could not possibly go well.

"What's the matter Emily? What did I say to irritate you?"

"Do you tell the rest of the family about me and Spencer? Like Rose and Arthur?"

"Is there something I should be telling people, Emily?"

"Never mind. Just never mind mother."

"Emily, there's nothing to tell yet, from what I can tell. The two of you haven't reached the good part yet."

"What's that supposed to mean?"

Elizabeth realized she had said exactly the wrong thing. She also realized it was too late to walk it back. She had to go forward and tell her something she meant to tell her daughter a long time ago.

"Emily," she said, "people thing the good part of a relationship is in the beginning when everything is fun, exciting and new. It isn't. It comes after you've fought, been able to be mad and at each other and still love each other.. The good part come when you can fight, disagree, and still stay together. I've never seen you do that with a man. You're just starting to face that with Spencer. I just hope you're able to turn the corner with him."

"Why? You don't even like him."

"I never said that. I wouldn't have picked him for you, but then I wouldn't have picked the BAU for you either. But no matter what you say, I know you like working there. No matter what you believe, all I've ever wanted is for you to be happy."

Emily looked at her mother for a few moments. Should she tell her about therapy? She decided against it. Instead, she said,"Is that all you want? Nothing else?"

Elizabeth smiled. "I wouldn't mind grand kids someday."

"Grand kids?"

"I think Ambassador Nana has a nice ring to it."

Emily started laughing, and Elizabeth joined in.

* * *

_A/N: Nana is another word for grandma. I think it might be Italian._


	4. Part I: The Baby Genius Discussion

_A/N: After Emily's lunch with her mother, she goes to see Spencer._

**Chapter 4: The Baby Genius Talk**

"Like everyone who is not in love, he imagined that one chose the person whom one loved after endless deliberations and on the strength of various qualities and advantages. –Marcel Proust

* * *

Spencer Reid's phone rang. He was sitting at the dining room table, papers all over the table. He was working away from his computer, and was intently working on his research project. He wasn't sure how he going to make go from just an idea to a reality, but he was certain the FBI wouldn't fund it or help in any way. As he was pondering this and several other questions related to it, he heard the phone ring.

"Hey Spencer."

"Hey Em."

"Are you busy? Can I come over?"

"Sure. You don't have to call first, you can just come right over."

"I'll be there soon. Thanks."

* * *

He was still working when she came over. "Hey Spencer."

"Hey Em." He got up to greet her. There was a strange look in her eye. He had a hard time classifying it. She didn't look sad really or mad, but she didn't really look happy. He remembered that she had lunch with her mother earlier. "How's your Mom doing?"

"Is it OK if we talk about that later?"

"Are you okay?"

"Yeah, I just don't want to talk about right now. OK?"

"Yeah, sure." He gave her reassuring smile.

"What are you working on?" She indicated the papers on his table. "I thought you weren't taking classes this semester."

"I'm not. This is a research project."

"What kind of a research project?"

"Uh, remember when I was going to take a leave of absence?"

Her eyes darkened for a moment, then she forced a smile. "Yeah?"

"Well, it wasn't entirely wanting to run away. There actually is a research project I want to do. I'm just certain the FBI won't fund it."

"Spencer, the FBI would pay for you to interview a serial killer in New Guinea if you wanted to."

"I'm not studying perpetrators. This about victims and survivors."

She gave him a questioning look. "Come again?"

He smiled. "Everywhere we go, the team I mean, we leave family, friends, communities, and sometimes even surviving victims behind. I just want to go and interview them. See how they're doing. See which ones are doing well and which ones aren't. It's something I've been thinking about off and on for a while."

"Really? That sounds interesting."

"I just don't think the FBI would fund it. I honestly don't know if I could get anyone interested in it."

"Are you kidding? There are victims groups that would be, not to mention counseling groups and universities that would be." She had that child-like enthusiasm she allowed herself once in a while. He loved it when she got that way. "Do want help? I mean, I could help you with it. It would be a nice change from what we do at work."

He smiled. "Sure. I honestly could use it. I've never tried doing anything like this before."

They sat down at the table and started going through the papers.

* * *

After they had been working for a couple of hours, Spencer asked, "What happened at lunch?"

She looked up at him," It was fine. Really, it was fine."

"You know, it's usually me who's evasive about stuff like this. Usually if things go badly you can't wait to vent. What's wrong?"

"It's …She was nice actually. She was even supportive. It's just…My cousin Rose got engaged."

"Well, that's nice."

"I know. It's just, the way she went on, it made me wonder if she would ever talk like that about us."

"Is it really that important to you?"

"Yes. It really is. Anyway, somehow we got from there to her telling me she just wanted me to be happy."

"Well, that's nice to hear, isn't it?"

"It is. It really is. She was nice, like I said. It's just that I asked if that was all she wants, and she said she wouldn't mind grand kids. She wasn't really serious, I don't think, but it just got me thinking…We keep avoiding that conversation about kids, don't we?"

"We don't have to have it right now, do we? I mean, I thought we agreed to take this one day at a time."

"You're right, we did. And I'm not saying I want to have kids right this moment, but Spencer I want to have them one day. All I want to know is if you want to have them too."

Reid didn't say anything. He was looking at the papers on the table.

Emily thought about dropping it. He was right, they had agreed to take things one day at a time. "Why don't you ever want to talk about it, Spencer just tell me that."

One of Spencer's hands started to shake, then he said in a voice just slightly louder than a whisper, "I'm scared."

"Of what? Of talking about it?"

"I'm too scared to want to have kids."

"Too scared?"

"Things got bad between us, and I tried to run. What if we had kids and I did that? Like my father did?"

"You wouldn't abandon your family."

"You don't know that."

"Yes I do. You chose to stay here, and you chose to go to counseling with me. You won't abandon your family."

"That may be the least of our problems."

"Spencer, what has you so afraid?"

"If we have kids...if I have kids with anyone, schizophrenia is genetically passed. I could pass it to them. It's also possible that I might need to be put in a institution."

"You're past the typical age of onset."

"Typical age, yes, but that doesn't mean it won't happen."

"It doesn't mean that it will either. Spencer, right now there's nothing to say we can't have perfectly sane, wonderful baby geniuses."

"There really isn't any evidence to suggest that genius can be passed genetically. I wouldn't wish my brains on anyone. Growing up a genius isn't any blessing. The other kids resented me, the teachers were fascinated by me. I really didn't have a lot of friends that just accepted me for me. Not until I was an adult."

"That's a fair point, but if we have geniuses, they will know they are loved. We will help them understand they are loved and they are people first and foremost. They won't be alone. Neither one of us is going anywhere. And if they're not geniuses..."

"If they're not geniuses, I'm afraid I won't love them. What if I think they're a disappointment if they're not as smart as me?"

"You won't."

"You don't know that!"

"Yes I do. I'm not as smart as you are, and you love me. You love Henry. You will love all of us, and we will love you."

"But Emily," Reid looked like a scared kid. He was running out reasons and excuses. Emily began to realize that the fear didn't come from someplace rational but someplace deep within him. It was a dark place that made him believe he didn't deserve love, that believed he was supposed to be alone.

She drew close to him. "Spencer, I love you. I will always love you. I will love any children we have. You will love any children we have. It won't matter how pretty they are or how smart they are. If they have to be institutionalized, we will visit them every day and make sure they know they are loved. If you have to be institutionalized, I will visit you every day and make sure you know you are loved."

"How can you be so certain?"

"I have faith."

"In what?"

"In us."

"Does it matter that I'm not so sure?"

"No. Not right now it doesn't. I have faith you will be. You still haven't answered my question Spencer."

"I'm pretty sure I did."

"No, you said you were afraid to want children. Take your fear out of the equation;do you want to have children?"

"Yes." It shocked Spencer to hear himself say it. "I do, but I don't think I'm ready yet."

"I didn't ask about that yet. I'm not sure I'm ready either. I just wanted to know what you thought." She hugged him tightly. She didn't know why, but at that moment she felt a need to hold onto him. It was almost as if she was afraid someone might take him away from her.

"Uh, Em, that's starting to hurt."

She let go. "I'm sorry, it's just..." She didn't have the right words to explain. She looked into his eyes, and tried to find the words. As she did, her lips met his.

It was a hungry, desperate kiss. Emily was surprised when she realized Spencer had a sudden need for this at this moment as she did. There was no banter, no talk, no suggestions to go to the bedroom or move to couch. There was just kissing and touching. Somehow, neither one remembered how, they ended up at the couch, and their clothes came off, littering the apartment.

There was no reciting of poetry, or any of the hot talk they usually engaged in. There was just touching, kissing, fondling every part of each other. She raked her nails down his back. He lightly bit her neck and shoulder. When they climaxed, first him, then her, it wasn't over. He picked her up and moved into the bedroom. They began again. And again. Over and over, touching each part, tasting each part of each other. When one of them was spent, the other found a way to arouse them. It was not sex as they usually experienced, either with each other or anyone else.

When at last they were done, they collapsed, too exhausted to even hold each other. Not even Spencer with his powerful memory could remember when they fell asleep. The next day, cleaned up the apartment in silence. They each had a sense that something significant and profound had happened, but neither one of them even knew how to begin to talk about it. The consequences of the experience would soon change their lives forever.

* * *

_A/N: This ends the first part of this fic. Starting with the next chapter, as the BAU hunts unsubs, Emily and Spencer face such challenges as jealousy, self-loathing, addiction and ...the Baby-genius discussion part 2._


	5. Part II: That Night

_A/N: Sorry for the lag time since my last update, but I have had a phenomenal bought of writer's block with this next section of chapters. This next chapter takes place 1 week after Emily's and Spencer's talk ended in a night of passion._

**Chapter 5: That Night**

"Love consists of this, that two solitudes protect and border and salute each other." - Rainer Maria Rilke

* * *

Emily Prentiss missed Spencer Reid. He was only going to be out of town for one day, but his absence from the bullpen was noticeable. What made it worse was they hadn't spent all that much time with each other since _that night_.

It had been a week since they had the talk. She hadn't intended to have a serious talk with him about kids, she really hadn't. It had just come out. Afterwords...

That night had been unlike any she had ever had with anyone. Several months ago, Emily knew there was no other man she would ever want to be with, but that night just proved it. After that night, there was simply no man who could ever live up to the passion and endurance Spencer had shown to her that night. Ever since then, however, there was a hesitation they had with each other. Almost as if they scared each other that night. She knew they should talk about it, but...

"Where are you Emily?"

Emily looked up and saw Derek Morgan standing at her desk. "Hey Derek."

"You've been staring at that file for twenty minutes. Are you actually reading, or are you lost somewhere else?"

"I just spaced out for a moment. That's all."

"C'mon Emily, talk to me. You went somewhere else entirely in your head. What's going on?"

"It's nothing. Really."

Morgan eyes went over to Reid's empty desk. "You're missing him that bad?"

"Of course not. He flies back tonight. It's just a custodial interview."

"It's not much of an interview. It'll be him trying to save Adam from himself. Still."

"It's important to him. It's a good thing to do."

"I'm surprised you didn't want to go with him. I thought everything was better between you two."

"It is. This is something he has to do alone. We don't need to spend every moment with each other. Anyway, I'm fine. Really."

"I hope so, because we might have a case. Hotch needs us in the conference room."

* * *

Spencer Reid hated waiting. He was sitting waiting to talk with Adam Jackson. Not he actually expected to talk to Adam. Adam suffered from dissociative disorder, and had been for years. Spencer crossed paths with him when Adam's other personality, Amanda, was killing people. Every since they caught him, Adam was gone; only Amanda was there. Spencer felt like he couldn't give up until Adam re-emerged, but the past few visits made him feel that might never happen again.

Still, he came to Texas every few months to try again. As he sat, waiting, he thought that he should have asked Emily to come with him. Unfortunately, things had been off between them lately. Ever since _that night_.

Even thinking about it, he could see those event happen in front of him, like his own private movie. Their naked bodies moving. He could hardly recognize himself, he was less a man than an animal. He just kept wanting more and more from Emily that night. Had he gone too far? Did he push her more than she was ready for?

"Let's make babies Spencer" She never said that, but in his dreams since that night, that's what she said. Then over and over again the events of that night played out. However, Spencer hadn't made much time for her lately. It was just guilt, right? That he wanted more than she did? He was lost in these thoughts when the doctor told him it was time.

Inside the doctor's office, Spencer was engaged in the usual battle of wills with Amanda. Rehashing the events of that deadly Spring Break didn't bear any fruit. He tried a different strategy.

"Amanda, does Adam like not being around?"

"He's better off like this, Dr. Reid."

"I didn't ask if _you_ thought he was better off, I asked if _he_ likes it. Is it what _he_ wants? Did you ask him _or_ did you force it on him?"

"I'm doing what's best for him."

"Are you? Can you be certain? Shouldn't it be his choice?"

"He was unhappy. He was wounded, and I helped him."

"Amanda, have you asked him what he thinks?"

She looked at him and said,"Dr. Reid don't you have better things to do than ask me about Adam. He's safe now, and I'm not in a position to hurt anyone else. Surely you have better things to do than debate me."

For a moment, just a moment, Dr. Reid thought about being with Emily. What he might say to her right now, what he should ask her. Then he focused on the matter at hand. "I said it before Amanda, I am not going to give up until I find Adam. I think he deserves to make choices for himself. You deciding what happens to him is just as bad as ..."

Amanda interrupted him,"Do not compare me to his step-father! Don't you dare! I didn't hurt him. I am protecting Adam."

"From what Amanda? From living? Is that really protecting him?"

The rest of the session, Amanda just sat and glared at him. She would not say another word.

* * *

Emily's phone rang. She was on the BAU jet with the rest of the team headed down to Texas, there was a spree killer and she wasn't looking forward to going to the crime scene. It was going to be really bad, a man walked into an office and starting to indiscriminately shooting people. Except the team knew spree killers weren't really random. He chose those victims for a purpose. They just had to figure it out.

Reid would be useful. His phone went straight to voicemail when she called. She figured he was in with Adam. Or flying back maybe. She was really missing him now.

She looked at her phone, and was glad to see it was Reid.

"Hey Spencer."

"Emily, I got your message. JJ sent me the contact person there. I've got a rental car and I'll meet you guys there."

"How did it go with Adam?"

"Not well. I managed to get Amanda to stop talking part-way through the session."

"I'm sorry."

"I keep thinking I should be smart enough to help Adam re-emerge, but I guess I'm not that big of a genius."

Emily wished she could be there to give him a hug. "It isn't a matter of how smart you Spencer. I think this is a matter of Adam not being able to face what he's done."

"I should be able to figure it out though. Anyway, I'll meet you guys there." He was about to hang up when he had a thought. "Emily?"

"Yeah?"

"I'm sorry I haven't made much time for you this week."

"We've both been busy."

"I was just thinking, maybe when the case is over we could stay behind. Maybe have dinner someplace here."

"Yeah. That would be nice. I'll see you soon. Morgan, Rossi, and I are going to the crime scene first. Hotch and JJ will meet you ate the station."

"OK. Bye."

After she hung up, she let Hotch know Spencer was on his way to the station and would meet him there.

She knew she should go over the file some more, but she couldn't. She just focused on Spencer, and she allowed a smile to cross her lips. What made her smile, was that most people think the extraordinary thing about him was his massive intelligence. For her, however, it was how much he cared about people. He was shy and awkward around them, but he cared deeply about them. That was why he wouldn't give up on Adam.

Sometimes that same caring and tenderness came through when they were alone in gentle caresses. He had a temper sometimes, sure, but with all the sadness and disappointment in his life, it was miraculous how he chose to be so caring. It was just one of the many reasons she loved him. She would be glad when the case was over, then she could show him how much she did care for him.

She winced for a moment. Her stomach felt funny. It had felt funny on and off this past week. I hope I'm not coming down with something, she thought.


	6. Part II: Jealousy

_A/N: Sorry it's be so long since my last update. My writer's block has been beating me up pretty good._

**Chapter 6: Jealousy**

"Love expels jealousy" - French saying

* * *

Derek Morgan could see the anger is Prentiss's eyes. They had been on the ground in Texas for 6 hours and had looked at three crime scenes. The unsub had shot up an office that processed collections, an unemployment office, and now a bank. Morgan and Prentiss had been to the bank and office, and when they got to the precinct they saw Reid working at the evidence board with one of the local detectives.

Her name was Crystal Bennett. Reid was probably oblivious that Bennett was female and a very attractive blond. He was probably even more oblivious to the fact that she had been looking at Reid speculatively. Emily, on the other hand, was not the slightest bit oblivious to that at all. Oh no, Morgan thought, not now.

Morgan knew it wouldn't be long now. Emily will find a reason to say something to Reid, then Reid would snap at her. Things had been going so well, why couldn't they stay like that? When did I get so emotionally invested in the two of them being happy, he wondered.

While the FBI agents were giving the profile, Det. Bennett couldn't help put be riveted by the younger agent, Dr. Reid. It was his hands, she decided. She imagined those slender, delicate hands could be very skilled at a lot of things. She wondered if he socialized when cases were over, or if he was all business. He had asked about restaurants in the area, but she couldn't tell if he was flirting or not. He had an odd way about him, it wasn't a turn-off, but he was definitely odd. The other odd thing was how one of the other agents, her name was Prentiss, seemed pissed. It almost seemed like she was mad at Dr. Reid for some reason.

As Reid gave his part of the profile, he knew something was wrong. When the briefing was over, and he looked at the evidence board again, Reid opened his mind and tried to visualize everything. It was a technique he used when he knew something was wrong. Usually when he did it the missing element just leaped out at him. As Spencer visualized everything they knew, from the profiles of spree killers to the what they knew from the crime scenes, the missing element leaped out at him. It was ...

Emily?

He looked around. She looked pissed. Suddenly he recognized that look. She was jealous. Again. He didn't have time for this.

"Perhaps you should make time, Spencer." It was Dr. Frankl's voice.

This wasn't the time, Spencer thought. He should focus on the unsub, on the killings, and how to stop them.

"Is that what you usually think when this happens?" The Dr. Frankl voice was relentless. Ok, this is what was bothering him. He had to face it.

She's jealous again. What do I do?

"I think we've talked about this in sessions. What does her jealousy mean?"

She feels insecure. I don't understand. Things are better.

"Oh. So how much time have the two of you spent together this week?"

We've both been busy.

"Or avoiding each other. There are things you need to say to each other, and not saying them makes the two of you uncertain. Which brings us back to jealousy, yes? What did we say you were going to do the next time it happened?"

I was going to find a way to reassure her.

"Good. Then do it."

Spencer opened his eyes, he was back at the station. He never really paid attention to when women looked at him, but he did when men paid attention to Emily. Of course she would do the same when women looked at him. They had been avoiding each other this week. He had to talk to her, not right this second but soon. He didn't want her to perceive...

"Reid." Morgan's voice interrupted Reid's thought process.

"What is it?"

"Garcia got a hit off the footage from the bank. The guy's name is Trevor Hayes, and we have address. Are you coming?" Reid was off his cane and they had talked about him going back to door busting duty.

"Let's go."

* * *

On the drive over to Trevor Haye's house, Emily forced her mind to not think about Det. Bennett. She could feel the jealousy well up, and she was determined it would not win this time. We talked about this with Dr. Frankl, she thought. When he notices this, Spencer's supposed to find a way to reassure me. That's his piece. I have my own piece. What was it? Oh yeah, ask myself if he's encouraging this.

Of course not. He probably hasn't even noticed how she's looking at him. He may not have even noticed me glaring at her.

That's the problem isn't it, she thought. Dr. Frankl had suggested when she got jealous it was because she was feeling insecure about something.

"Remember Spencer," Dr. Frankl said during their last session,"despite your self-image as being socially awkward, she's dating a younger man. That's bound to create some feeling of insecurity."

"You make me sound like a cougar," Emily had said.

"I didn't mean to," Dr. Frankl said. "But I think it is important we acknowledge that age difference, as well as both of your insecurities. I don't want to suggest, however, that I am dismissing the expression of jealousy. I am suggesting it is a signal that something is going on. So, when you have that feeling, Emily, I want you to ask yourself if Spencer is encouraging any advances being made. I also want you to consider why you might feel insecure at that moment."

As she was remembering this scene, Emily became aware of a piece of paper in her hands. As she unfolded it, she recognized it was in Spencer's handwriting. It said:

_Emily, _

_Remember I love you. I will always love. I can't wait to spend some time alone with you. _

_Spencer_

She stole a look at Reid, who was sitting up front with Morgan. How did he get the note in her hands? When did he write it?

While Emily was pondering Reid's note, Reid stole a glance and saw a trace of a smile. She saw the note, he thought, and that brought the same trace of a smile to his face. They both only allowed a trace of a smile because of the situation they were headed into. As if to underline the seriousness of the situation, Reid got a call from Hotch, which he put on speaker.

"After Garcia identified the shooter, Rossi talked to someone from the unemployment office who handled his claim."

"And?" Morgan asked.

"The last two times they talked over the phone, he heard Trevor yell at his wife. It seems he never had the information the office needed to process the claims. He remembered that Hayes blaming his wife for moving his stuff. Garcia says he hasn't been working and that he and his wife are months behind on bills."

"That could be the stressor," Emily said.

"Morgan, we need to faster," Spencer said.

"What's the matter kid?"

"It's his wife. If she isn't already dead, he's about to kill her."

It was a several minutes that they entered the house. The house was a general mess, with papers, letters, and bills apparently stacked in totally random piles. In a few minutes, they found Mrs. Hayes in the bedroom where Trevor had shot her.

"I think she was his first victim," Reid said, "and that's what started the spree."

The three of them heard a commotion out front in the yard. When they got out there, they saw that Trevor had come home, and he was currently surrounded by Det. Bennett and the rest of the locals. Trevor looked at the law enforcement guns with a sneer of contempt. He had his semiautomatic pistol out, still deciding who to shoot first.

Morgan automatically took the lead. "Mr. Hayes, you don't want to do this. Don't make this end worse than it has to."

"This is your fault," Trevor said, " all of you. You are all out to get me. She started it! She kept messing with my stuff."

"Who did?"

"My wife. Ask her, she'll tell you."

"Mr. Hayes, your wife is dead."

"No. She's not dead. You're lying. She started all of this." Trevor leveled his gun at Morgan and cocked it when a shot rang out. Trevor went down, hit in the shoulder.

Det. Bennett was shocked for a moment. Of all the things she imagined Dr. Reid's hands would be good for, shooting a gun wasn't one of them. But he was the one who took the shot, wounded Trevor Hayes in the shoulder and ended the confrontation.

After the EMTs put the wounded Trevor Hayes in the ambulance, Emily pulled Spencer aside. "Are you okay?"

"Sure. I'm fine. I shot him before he did anything."

"I didn't mean physically. I know you don't like having to shoot people."

"It had to be done. He was going to start shooting."

"You don't have to convince me." She stroked his cheek.

"I've done it before."

"I know. And I know you don't like it."

"I didn't hesitate. It's what had to happen."

"I know. Spencer, it isn't a criticism. What you're feeling, it isn't weakness. It's a form a strength, it's why you're a better person than anyone I know."

A tear came down his cheek. "He killed his wife. He blamed her for everything."

"I know."

"I would never blame you for anything. You know that right?"

"I do." She hugged him, and they both shed tears.

Det. Bennett witnessed the two of them talking and hugging. She realized this was not just two co-workers being friendly. This was something more profound.

"Quite a surprise, huh, detective?"

Bennett turned around to see the Morgan standing there. "So, those two are a thing?"

"Not the word they would use, but yeah."

"Does that ever get in the way of the job?"

"Not so you'd notice."


	7. Part II: Alone Time

**Chapter 7: Alone Time**

love is the voice under all silences,

the hope which has no opposite in fear;

- e e cummings

* * *

After the case was over, Trevor Hayes was arrested, and the BAU's job was done in Texas, it was time to go home. At least for most of them. As they were getting ready to board the plane, Morgan noticed the absence of Reid and Prentiss. "Where are the love birds?" he asked Hotch.

"They're spending the night here. They'll be back tomorrow. Come on, let's go."

* * *

So it was that night Emily Prentiss and Spencer Reid found themselves at one of the restaurants Det. Bennett recommended. Spencer promised himself that as soon as he got her alone, he would talk to her about all the things he had been thinking about - the baby conversation, the passion that followed, Adam/Amanda, Emily's jealousy, everything. Now that they were here, that the opportunity was staring him in the face, he had not idea how to start. He found himself finding ways to avoid the topic altogether.

Emily, for her part, knew they should talk. She knew they should talk about why they had been avoiding each other. She should see if he needed to talk about Adam some more. They should talk about the jealousy thing some more, but she wasn't sure she wanted to. So as they talked, and Spencer rattled off random facts about Texas history, both of them felt they were avoiding a much needed talk. Suddenly, for what reason Emily couldn't identify, she said, "I liked your note."

"Note?" He tried to sound clueless, but there was a look in his eye she had learned to recognize.

"The note you somehow slipped in my hands? Remember? How did you do that, anyway?"

"A magician never reveals his secrets."

Her eyes conveyed both irritation and bemusement. "I'll find out, I am an expert interrogator Dr. Reid."

He smiled. Then he stopped smiling. "What are we doing?"

"What do you mean?" The harshness in her tone would have frightened some men.

"We have serious things we have to talk about, and we're doing everything but."

"Spencer, we don't need to do it right now."

"Yes we do. We need to talk about, if nothing else, what I did wrong that night."

"What?" There was no disguising her obvious bewilderment.

"We've been avoiding each other since we had _that _talk. That wasn't like just any other night, was it? And I did something wrong, didn't I?'

"No, no Spencer." She suddenly realized she had given him entirely the wrong impression, and somehow she had to fix it. "I was afraid I scared you. I mean, I felt like I was an animal that night. I did things I've never done with any one. I can't even begin to describe it."

"We both were like that. I think it was because we put so much power invested in that talk. I mean, we've thought about it like it was something that had the power to end us."

"I told you, I don't need you to want to have kids right now."

"You know that's not really true, don't you?"

"Excuse me?"

"Emily, if you were pregnant right now, you'd be considered high risk. You know that. If we are going to have kids, the sooner the better, at least from a health perspective."

"High risk doesn't mean impossible Spencer. But we're not talking about having them right now. I just wanted to know if you wanted them. I'm not sure I'm ready to be a Mom yet. "

"Sure you are."

"Excuse me, Dr. Reid? I think I know when I'm ready or not ready." She was getting just a bit irritated with him.

He shook his head," No Emily. You're ready, maybe you don't see it, but I do. And you'll be a good mother. Caring, nurturing, understanding. Every time you interview a child, I think about you being a Mom. I can see it." He reached over and touched her cheek, and as he did she felt a jolt of electricity.

"Do you know what I see, when I look at you Spencer Reid? I see the man I want to be the father of my children. I can't imagine anyone else to have children with. I can't imagine anyone else I want to be with. And sometimes I get afraid."

"Of what?"

"That you don't feel the same way about me. That there's some girl who's prettier or smarter than me, and that will be it."

"No. There isn't. There never will be."

"You don't know that."

"Yes I do. There is no one else I will ever want to be with, except for you. I'm always afraid you're going to decide there's someone better for you."

She started to laugh.

"What?" He hated when people started laughing around him, because he very often didn't get the joke. Emily's laughter didn't usually annoy him really, though, there was always a warmth to it that he found irresistible.

"Us. We just spent a week avoiding each other because we thought we freaked the other one in bed. And we're both so insecure we think the other one is going to leave. How can we be so good at profiling criminals, and so bad at profiling each other?"

He got the joke, and smiled. "I don't know. Maybe it's because we're not emotionally invested when we profile a crime scene, but we are with each other."

"Shouldn't that make us better at it? Shouldn't we be able to just naturally read each other?"

"That only works when we don't have our own personal demons. The funny thing is we seem to have the same one."

"So what do we do about that, Dr. Reid?"

"I have no idea."

"What good is it to have three PhDs and an IQ of 187 if it doesn't tell how to fix this?"

"No good at all, I guess. There's something Morgan told me once though, that might help."

"Oh God" Emily held her head in her hand. "What did he say?"

"That there are some things I can't control, even with my brain."

"Yeah, that really doesn't help us."

"There's always the Kama Sutra."

"Excuse me?"

"I was reading on the plane ride down here."

"You're kidding me."

"No, it's interesting how it's laid out like there are simple rules for everything. It lays out how a man and woman solve any problems, obviously it only works with in a certain cultural context."

It was hard for Emily not to be intrigued about where this could possibly be going in Reid's head. "So what would the Kama Sutra say about this?"

"Well, mostly anything ends up with us in bed having passionate sex."

"Isn't that how we got off to the wrong foot this week?"

"No, we got twisted up by not talking about it afterwords. Maybe we should try that."

Emily considered that. "That's still not much of an answer to our problem."

"Is it possible loving each is the answer?"

"That's the best answer you came up with all night."

Several hours later, Reid and Emily were lying next to each other naked in their hotel room. He was gently stroking her face, while she smiled. "So what was that last position called again?" she asked.

"The cow."

"And which one ends up with you lifting me up?"

"The butterfly."

"So when do I pull your hair?"

"That's only if you're mad at me. Like if you're jealous."

"I think we'll follow Dr. Frankl's advice on dealing with the jealousy."

"That's fine with me."

"Are you up to lifting me right now."

"I need to rest if I'm going to do that."

"Isn't there one where I get to ride you."

"Riding the elephant."

"Yeah, that one's next."

* * *

A/N: I blame DustyTiger for the Kama Sutra coming into play in this chapter. Twice while I was writing this one, I lost all my work. I think everything came out ok in the end. Coming up next: The Baby Genius Talk, Part 2


	8. Part II: Baby Genius Discussion 2

**Chapter 8: Baby Genius Discussion 2**

Many men can make a fortune, but very few can build a Family. – J.S. Bryan

* * *

"Are you okay?" Spencer asked Emily.

They were at her place, and it was 2:30 in the morning. He had woke up to realize she wasn't in the bed beside him. It was strange, because usually when the two of shared a bed, they both slept through the night. Unless something was wrong. So he got up and found her at the kitchen table.

"I'm fine. I just couldn't sleep."

"Did you have a bad dream?"

"No, nothing like that. It's .. it's nothing."

"It's obviously not nothing, otherwise you'd be able to sleep." He sat down next to her, and took her hand. "What's wrong?"

"I'm late."

"Yeah it's late. Or early, depending how you think about it, I guess."

She sighed. There were times that Spencer could pick up on the smallest detail, and then there were times when a simple comment left him completely clueless. "No, Spencer. I mean, my period is late."

He didn't speak moment. " How late is it?"

" A couple of weeks."

"Has it been late before? I mean, there a number of conditions that could cause you to go off your cycle."

"It's never been late like this. Spencer, it might not mean anything, but …"

"Let's not jump to any conclusions. Why don't we go back to bed, and in the morning you can make a doctor's appointment."

"But we should talk about what to do if I'm pregnant."

"What's to say? Haven't we covered this before?"

"No. We talked about the possibility of having kids one day. In the future. We never made a decision."

"Is there a reason to make decision before we know for sure?"

"Yes. I said before I didn't need to know before, but I want it now. I want to know, if this I'm having a baby genius, I need to know what you want."

"But it isn't just about what I want, is it? What do you want?"

"You know what I want."

"Like you said, we've always talked about someday. So the talks were always mostly theoretical. So, I'll say it again. I would be scared to be a father, just like there are times that I scared being with you. I'm always scared that someday you'll say its over between us, so everyday that doesn't happens, it feels like a gift. Just like if we have a child, that will feel like a gift too."

"Do you really mean that?"

"With everything I have. But do you want to be a mother? I mean now that you think you might be, do you want to be a mother?"

"More than anything. I think that's why I couldn't sleep. Part of me wants to be a mother, but I'm afraid it would be too much for you."

"I don't think there's anything we can't do together, but I think we need to wait for what the doctor says before we get too emotionally invested."

"Why?"

"What happens if you're not pregnant, and we're already picking out baby names?"

"Then maybe that says we want to be parents. That says maybe if I'm not, we start trying."

"That may depend."

"On what?"

"If you're not pregnant, then why is your period late?"

"That's a good point." A worried look crossed her face.

"Hey." He cupped her chin in his hand. "Hey, relax. We don't know what it is yet. Let's go back to bed. We'll see the doctor, and then we can make decisions from there."

"Okay."

* * *

The next day, Emily made her appointment. She would have preferred it was that day, but the doctor couldn't fit her in until later in the week. Reid kept telling her it would be fine, although he would have preferred to know immediately. The truth is, ever since Texas, he been thinking about having children.

The thought about being a father used to fill him with a kind of dread, he was worried about all the ways he would fail. Ever since he and Emily had come back from Texas, however, he imagined having children with Emily. It seemed like a he was watching a film montage with happy music playing in the background. He didn't dare give voice to this, but a part of him was beginning to feel the happiness he saw people having was in his grasp.

He didn't even share this feeling with Emily. He believed very firmly in logic and reason, but there was within him a slightly superstitious part. He knew on some level that it was ridiculous to feel saying any of this out loud would jinx it, but that belief was there.

The only thing more difficult for the two of than waiting for the appointment, and then for the test results, was trying to keep it from the team. Oh, everyone knew that Emily had a doctor's appointment and that she feeling a little off, but no one knew the extent of it.

After the appointment, they had to endure an activity neither one of them liked very much. They had to wait. They were waiting for test results. Emily decided she needed some time alone, so she and Spencer spent that night alone. At first.

After making dinner for herself, which consisted of fruit and pasta salad, doing a pilates workout, and cleaning the kitchen three times, she decided she needed to get out of her apartment. She went on a long walk, that some ended with her at Reid's apartment.

She stood in front of the building for several moments. She though about turning back. You're the one who wanted to be alone tonight, she told herself. I was alone, and now I'm sick of it. She knocked on the door, and was grateful when Spencer let her in.

When she went in, she saw that he busy working on something, because his table was filled with folders and papers.

"So what are you working?"

"My victims and survivors project. I'm trying to make the list of people to interview manageable."

"How many years of cases are you going back?"

"Five."

"This is what you want to do on your time?"

"I went to a meeting earlier. It was either this or doing research on pregnancy. Or thinking of the the different names that sounded good."

"Names?"

"Baby names." He managed to look sheepish when he said it.

Emily laughed. It was that warm laugh that brightened his day, not matter what was going on. He could do nothing but smile. "I love you Spencer."

They spent the rest of the evening on the couch, not doing much of anything.

It was with incredible relief a few days later when the two of them were able to go into the conference room and know the waiting was over. They looked at their friends and colleagues, and Reid said, "We have something we need to tell everyone."

"I'm pregnant." Emily said.

* * *

_A/N: Okay, this came a little faster than I had originally intended, but here it is. This ends the second part of the story. We have four more parts to go. The next part begins with Spencer Reid having a one and one session with Dr. Frankl._


	9. Part III: Their Paradise Lost

_A/N: Okay, we have a major angst alert here. When we last left our heroes, Emily was pregnant—which was really good news. Well, 6 weeks later a few things have gone wrong. This is going to be a tough couple of chapters, but it will be worth it in the end._

**Chapter 9 : Their Paradise Lost**

"God does not send us despair in order to kill us; he sends it in order to awaken us to new life." – Hermann Hesse

* * *

_Dr. Frankl's office_

Spencer Reid sat on the couch in Dr. Frankl's office. Alone. He kept looking over at the spot where Emily Prentiss usually sat. He knew she wouldn't be there, but he couldn't stop himself from looking there anyway. These first moments of the session were awkward and painful. As Dr. Frankl studied his patient, he could see the last few days had not been kind to Spencer Reid.

"So," Dr. Frankl began,"catch me up. Where do things stand?"

"She said it's over." Spencer said in a whisper, his voice thick with sorrow and regret.

"What lead up to it, Spencer?"

"Well, I guess it started when we found out she was pregnant."

"And how did you feel about her being pregnant?"

Spencer smiled. "I never felt happier. It's kind of strange, I mean, I never thought of myself as a father. I'm still getting used to being Henry's godfather, and there are so many reasons for me not to be a father. But the more I thought about it, the more I think about it, the more it sounds so good."

"So, what happened after you knew she was pregnant?"

"We had a talk about when we should tell the team."

* * *

_Emily's place_

The two of them were laying in bed next to each other. They hadn't stopped smiling since they left the doctor's office. Spencer couldn't imagine feeling this happy upon finding he was going to be a father. Then again, there was a time when being involved with Emily seemed like an impossible dream.

"What do you think about telling the team Spencer? I know some people say you should wait, but I keep thinking I want everyone to know."

"Well, some of the books I read don't address it, but some of them point out that there are a number of complications that can develop in the first weeks. That's why people wait to tell people."

"Books?" Her voice was full of teasing amusement,"I thought you were avoiding doing research about it."

"That was after I read the first 21 books."

"21 books? Only 21?" She was laughing and smiling now. He decided he liked her laughs and smiles more than anything else in the world. He hoped the baby would laugh and smile just like her.

"Anyway, we've tried to be open and honest with everyone. I think maybe we should continue that. I mean, I think everything works better when we're open about what's going on."

"And maybe you want to brag to Morgan that you're a father."

"No." He paused. "Not to Morgan so much as everyone who isn't us."

She smiled and kissed him.

* * *

_Dr. Frankl's office_

"So you told everyone?"

"We told the team the next day, and I wrote a letter to Mom that morning. I called my Dad, and Emily told her Mom the next time they had lunch.

Everything was good. In fact, everything was great until last week."

"What happened?"

"Everything started to hurt. I mean, Emily was in real pain. First she said it was nothing, and I let it go. But it just continued, and it got worse. And then she started bleeding."

Spencer didn't speak for a few minutes. Dr. Frankl knew what happened, but he wanted Spencer to tell him. Finally, the silence was too much.

"Did she have a miscarriage?"

"By the time we got to the hospital, it was too late. The doctors said there was nothing we could do. They said there was nothing anyone could have done. It's not uncommon for it to happen. I didn't realize how devastating it could be. I should have known."

"What should you have known Spencer?"

"That it could happen. What the pain might mean. We should have been more careful. It's my fault. I read the books. I'm the genius."

"That doesn't mean you know everything, Spencer. It doesn't mean you could have changed anything or stopped it. Spencer, this wasn't your fault."

"She blames me. I know she does."

"Did she say that?"

"Not in those words, but it's what she meant."

"What did she say?"

* * *

_The Hospital_

"It's over."

"What?" Spencer couldn't believe his ears. He heard her wrong. He must have.

"It's over Spencer. This has to be a sign. We've had so many, but we just kept ignoring them. But how many signs do you need before you realize the universe is telling you something?"

"The universe? The universe in not a sentient being. The universe on a whole doesn't care about what we do. Emily, the universe doesn't decide about love. If you don't love me, just say it."

"It isn't that Spencer. It isn't that simple."

"Yes it is. It's very simple. I love you. You told me you loved me. You said you would love me no matter what."

"I do. But look at us... We're in couples counseling Spencer. We're afraid it's going to end. We keep hitting brick walls every time we turn around. And we both know that sometimes love isn't good enough."

Spencer just stood there. This wasn't happening, was it? "So that's it? You want to give up?"

"I just know when it's time to give in. I'm sorry."

* * *

_Dr. Frankl's office_

"I'm sorry Spencer." Dr. Frankl said. "I'm so sorry that happened. Was that the last time the two of you spoke."

"Yeah. The nurses said she didn't want me to visit, and she stopped taking my calls. I'm just glad I was able to arrange for the burial."

"Burial?"

"It's not technically a body, I know, but I managed to have the remains buried in a small plot at Arlington."

"I'm sorry, Spencer, are you telling me that you had, I mean the fetus was only what, 6 or 8 weeks old?"

"About that, yeah. Someone at a meeting suggested it to me. It felt like the right thing to do."

"So, you're telling me that ..." Dr. Frankl was trying to find a gentle way to frame the question.

"There is in Arlington a simple gravestone with just a date. The date I took Emily to the hospital. No name. There is no gender we can know, but that's my child. Mine and Emily's."

"Does Emily know?"

"I don't think so. Hotch and Rossi know. They helped me arrange it."

"Really?"

"Yeah. Anyway, after Emily ended it with me I went to see Hotch. I needed to ask him something."

* * *

_Hotch's Office_

"How are you doing Spencer?" Aaron Hotchner was concerned. Hotch had once told Gideon that he used Reid to get the job done, but never really showed him how to deal with things. Of course, Hotch was still learning. The pain that Spencer had to be feeling, Hotch didn't know how he would deal with it. As he looked at Spencer, there was a look in Spencer's face that Aaron thought he recognized but couldn't place it exactly. The only he was certain of was that Spencer was most definitely not okay.

"She broke it off with me Hotch. Emily said she doesn't want to be with me anymore."

This was one of the things Aaron worried about happening. Situations like this was why inter-office romances were a bad idea. He thought, though, that Reid and Prentiss were past the point that this would happen. Obviously he was wrong, not that he could blame them. It was an awful thing that had just happened. "I'm sorry Reid," Aaron said.

Reid was quiet for a moment. "Hotch, do you remember when we did the custodial interview with Chester Hardwick?"

"Yeah." Chester was a brutal sexual sadist who killed 23 women. Hotch and Reid interviewed him a week before his execution. It had not gone well.

"I remember you were agitated when we went, especially after you got a phone call from JJ."

"Because Hayley wanted me to sign the divorce papers uncontested, I remember. Reid, what's going on?"

Reid continued like Hotch hadn't asked the question, " I remember you almost go into a fist fight with him. That really surprised, you know. I'd never seen you be as agressive like that. No, aggressive is the wrong word. Pissy. Throughout the whole interview you were definitely pissy."

"Reid, what's your point?"

"It was because of you and Hayley. She was pressuring you to sign the divorce uncontested. I remember when it was all over, after we left, you told me all about it. I asked you what you wanted, and you said you wouldn't get what you wanted."

"I remember." It was a really bad the day, the day Aaron gave up, the day the divorce became real.

"I know how you felt now. Hotch, I need some time off. In my state of mind right now, I'm afraid I make some really bad choices. I might get someone killed."

Aaron Hotchner looked at Reid with a kind of awe right then. He wasn't sure he would be smart enough to do the same thing if their places were reversed. In fact, he knew he wouldn't. When things went bad with Hayley, when George Foyet was on the loose, Hotch poured himself into his work. And he made all kinds of bad choices. "Take all the time you need Spencer."

"I think I just need a week. Thank you Hotch. I'm sorry about this."

"It's all right Spencer. I'm proud of you."

* * *

_Dr. Frankl's office_

_"_I'm proud of you too Spencer. You recognized your state of mind, and it's potential for disaster and you made a good choice."

"Yeah. You know, the I'm glad I asked for the time. Because the next day I had a really bad moment."

"Tell me about it."

"I was visiting the grave."

* * *

_At the grave_

Spencer stood at the grave. It didn't have a name, just the date of the miscarriage. There was a part of Spencer Reid that wondered if he should try to figure out the exact moment of conception and put it on there as well. The headstone looked wrong with just one date there. There was a part of him that thought he already knew, there was no scientific way to prove it, but it was probably _that night_.

"Spencer."

The voice came from behind him, but Spencer didn't turn to face it. He didn't want to face it. He knew who the voice belonged to, and he didn't want to face him.

"Turn around Spencer. Talk to me, I'm here to help."

Spencer continued to ignore him.

"I'm not going away Spencer. So you might as well turn around and face me."

Spencer turned around and saw the face of Jason Gideon. His former teammate and one time mentor didn't look any different that the last time Spencer saw him. Spencer studied Gideon face for a moment. "You're not really here," Spencer said to the image of Gideon. He knew it was just a figment of his imagination.

"Maybe I am, but maybe it's a part of you need to listen to. Like the part that lead you to investigate Riley Jenkins. And your father."

"You're not here to help."

"How can you be so certain? "

"What could have to say to me now? The last time I heard from you was in a letter, trying to explain why you left."

"Maybe I'm here to tell you need to know when it's time to leave."

Leave? Leave what?"

"Emily. The FBI. That." Gideon pointed to the grave. "You're mourning something that wasn't even a child. It never became a child."

Spencer smiled. "See, you're not Gideon. Gideon would never refer to my child like that."

"Child? It never came to term. You don't know what sex it is. You don't even have a name you can put on there."

"I don't need a name to mourn my child."

"Your child? Spencer, it didn't even last 1 trimester! How about losing Emily? She is lost to you, you know. She's done with you. But you still want to be there, so she can ignore you every day. For what? Sometimes you need to know when it's time to leave."

Spencer nodded. "I know who you are now. You usually show yourself as some one else. Tobias usually. Sometimes as Benjamin Cyrus. This is new. It's a good try, but you don't win today." Spencer turned around to the grave. He walked up and put his hand on the gravestone. "It's okay," he said soothingly.

"Who are you talking to?"

Spencer looked up to the sky. "I don't know if you can hear me. I don't know if you have a soul, I don't even know if I believe in souls or heaven, but I just want you to know that I haven't given up. Not yet. I love you and I love mommy."

"Mommy? Do you mean the woman who told you it was over? Who are you fooling? It's over. This is the point when you decide to hide or run or .."

"Use? Dilaudid maybe? Sorry to disappoint, but you won't get me this time. You are a part of me. You're the part that tells me to run. You're the part tries to get me to use. You don't win today."

Spencer walked away.

"This isn't over Spencer. You need me. This pain is going to be too much."

Twenty minutes later, Spencer Reid was at a podium at a meeting of Beltway Clean Cops meeting. "My name is Spencer, and I'm an addict. I don't usually call myself that, but today I feel the craving strongly. My girlfriend was pregnant. She just lost the baby. _We_ just lost the baby. Yesterday, she said it was over. I don't want things to be over. I don't know what to do about that. I do know I feel the craving and I don't want to use."

* * *

_Dr. Frankl's office_

"This has happened before? You've hallucinated like this?" Dr. Frankl was concerned.

"It's more like a day dream. My mind works differently than most, sometimes I visualize things. It's how I think things through. Usually, it's a dream when it happens, but sometimes it happens like this. I know it's not real. Anyway, I went to a meeting after it happened."

"Tell me Spencer, when was the last time it happened."

"Right after George Foyet killed Hayley."

Which, if memory serves, is right before you and Emily started seeing each other."

"Yes."

"Hmm. That could make this a very challenging time for you." He thought for a moment. "Do mean when the two of you had problems before, you never had these dreams? The craving?"

"Not like this, no. Things were bad, but not this bad."

"I see. Well, Spencer, this is a tough time for you. My question is, did you mean what you said? Do you believe that you and Emily are going to get through this?"

"I don't know. At that particular moment, I believed it, but now I'm not so sure."

* * *

_A/N: Remember, this isn't the end. We have a looong way to go yet, and things will get better. Remember, I like happy endings. And for me, Reid and Emily are the OTP._


	10. Part III: Spencer Post break up

_A/N: The next two chapters are going to be a little different. After the last chapter, our two heroes need a little time of personal quest. Fortunately, they don't do this alone. These are going to be long chapters, and everything is going to come to a head in a really long chapter called Gala which will round out this part of the story._

**Chapter 10: Spencer Post break up**

* * *

Penelope Garcia

There was knock on Penelope Garcia's office door. "Enter mortal and be received." Garcia's manners rarely changed, whether on the phone or in person. Authority figures freaked her out, but as she got to know people she continued to act in that manner that injected brightness and humor into the lives of people who faced the darkness of human nature. Reid was grateful for that.

"Hey Garcia, I need a favor."

"Reid," her voice was filled with sympathy,"I thought you were on leave."

"I am. I'm actually on my way out, I just need to ask for a favor. I need to see if you could find addresses of two people."

"Easier done than said, who are you looking for?"

"Jason Gideon and Elle Greenway."

"Reid, what are you up to?"

"I just need to talk to both of them, that's all."

"I don't understand."

Reid studied her for a moment. He knew Garcia probably wouldn't settle for anything less than the truth, and he knew she was going to be his best chance to track down his former teammates. "I'm taking a few days to settle somethings. I need their help. I have...amends to make."

"Reid, I don't understand."

"There's an issue I have...we never really talk about it. After Tobias Henkel, I mean..."

"It's okay. I know what you're talking about."

"Anyway, I need to talk to some people about a few things. It's time to resolve a few things, including with them. If you could just call me or send it to my phone, I'd appreciate it."

"Sure."

Reid turned around to go. "Spencer."

"Yeah?"

"How's Emily?"

"I don't know. She's not talking to me right now."

"We are you going to be?"

"I'm going home to Las Vegas right now. I'm going to see Mom and Dad, then I have something I need to do in Texas."

"Are flying out right now?"

"After I visit the grave, yeah."

"Reid, what grave?"

"Our child. I have a grave in Arlington for it."

"It?"

"There really is no way to know gender, but it's more than just genetic material to me."

"Does Emily know?"

"I wrote her a letter."

"A letter?"

"It's over with us. Like I said, she doesn't want anything else to do with me."

"And you? What do you want?"

"I'm still not certain. I'm hoping to know when I get back." And then he was gone. Garcia felt the sadness that seemed to permeate from Reid. Then she turned around to do the one thing she could to help. She started typing on her keyboard and searched cyberspace for Jason Gideon and Elle Greenway.

Diana Reid

Diana Reid was in her favorite spot, sitting by the window reading a book and with a journal book with her. She had one of Spencer's latest letters with her. In truth, Diana was re-reading the letter more than she was reading her book. The book was a commentary on Tristan & Isolde she liked, but the letter was about Emily being pregnant.

Diana would prefer the two of them were married first, but so long as they were together she was happy. She knew Emily would be a good mother and Spencer...

"Diana, you have a visitor."

Diana looked up, and saw her Spencer right there. She smiled, until she had a close look at him. "Spencer, what's wrong?"

"Why does something have to be wrong, Mom? I just came for a visit."

"I keep telling you, a mother knows. What's wrong?"

Spencer sat down next to his mother. "Mom...We lost the baby." He had meant to lead up to it, to explain it slowly first so not to upset her too much. However it just spilled out.

"I'm sorry Spencer." She hugged him close. "How's Emily?"

"That's the thing Mom, she's done with me. I lost her too. She doesn't want me anymore. I ..." Spencer started crying. He couldn't help it.

"It's all right Spencer, " she kept saying. She held him and whispered reassuring things in his ear. There were times when Spencer was little that she was like this. He would cry or be scared, and she would hold him and reassure him like any other mother.

Willaim Reid

Hours later, Spencer was at his father's house. The two of them had dinner. Spencer told his father about Emily, he had told him everything. William hadn't said much. Spencer figured he didn't have much he could say. It's not like William Reid had any great expertise when it came to relationships. After dinner, William asked Spencer,"So what are you going to do Spencer?"

"What do you mean Dad?"

"About Emily."

"There's nothing to do. She made it clear she doesn't want anything to do with me."

"Don't believe it Spencer. She loves you. I remember how she looked at you at Christmas. Her eyes lit up whenever she looked at you. Don't let the pain she's feeling now fool you. Don't give up."

"Give up? She's the one who ended it."

"That doesn't matter. If you let her go, if you let everything end, you will always regret it. It will leave a hole inside you that can never be healed. Trust me, I know."

"Dad?" Spencer didn't quite know what to say. Although his Dad had apologized for leaving him when he was a kid, this was the first time Spencer sensed true regret from his father.

"You know Spencer, a few months after I left you and your Mom, I knew I did the wrong thing. I told myself I could fix it. I told myself I would fix it. But every day I found I reason not to do it. Everyday until I knew it was too late. Don't be like me. You have always been a better man than me."

Spencer really didn't know what to say.

"At 18 you got your mother into Bennington. I should have done that when you were 10. If I had ...It doesn't matter now. I know you love her, so don't let it end."

"I don't know how to fix it Dad."

William Reid smiled at his son. "Spencer, there is nothing you can't do when you put your mind to it."

"I'm not so sure."

"Trust me Spencer. You can do this."

Adam Jackson

Spencer's phone rang, and he answered it to find Morgan on the other end.

"Reid, where are you?"

"Texas. What's going Morgan? I'm on leave."

"I know. What are you doing in Texas?"

"I'm visiting Adam Jackson."

"Kid, when are you going to face facts, that is one fight you are never going to win."

"I can't give up. Is that you wanted, to know where I am?"

"Do you really have a headstone in Arlington for your.. uh"

"Child? Yes."

"Reid..."

"Don't Reid me Morgan. It's the right think to do."

"Does Emily know about it?"

"I never really got a chance to tell her before she ended it. I sent her a letter."

"If you need anything, just call me, okay?'

"Sure Morgan."

A short time later, Reid was in the doctor's office with Adam. More accurately, in was in with Amanda, the now dominate personality. He noticed she had a bandage on her arm.

"This is your fault Dr. Reid," she said. "Adam heard what you said, and he tried to hurt me. He tried to kill me."

"I'm sorry Amanda. I didn't want that to happen. Have you talked to him about what we talked about last time? Maybe he wants to be free."

"Dr. Reid it doesn't matter what he wants. I know what's good for him. He's in a better place, he's safe. Don't we all want to be safe?"

"What good is safe Amanda? Where he is, can he be happy? You know, I've been seeing a woman. In fact, she was pregnant."

"Was?"

"She had a miscarriage."

"I'm sorry, Dr. Reid. I truly am."

"Thank you, but the point I'm trying to make is that afterwords, she broke it off with me. I think she thinks it would be a safer for both of us if we weren't a part of each others lives. I think she's afraid we'll want to try again and might be in store for more disappointment. But risk is a part of the chance of happiness. You keep saying you want what's best for Adam. Isn't happiness a part of that?"

Amanda was quiet. Suddenly her voice was different.

"I'm sorry, about your girlfriend Dr. Reid."

"Adam?"

"I...I'm sorry she broke up with you."

"It's okay Adam. Pain is a part of life. I'm just glad to be able to talk with you again."

"He's gone now Dr. Reid." Amanda was back for the rest of the session.

Elle Greenway

A few days later, Spencer found himself in Brooklyn, NY. Garcia had struck out on finding Gideon. He had quite purposefully found a way to be off the grid. "I'm not done looking yet, not by a long shot. But I found Elle."

"Yeah?'

"She helps run a half-way house in Brooklyn. I'm sending you her information."

The Nineveh House was in fact a renovated school that was converted into a rehab facility for runaways and juvenile delinquents. Reid made his way to the gym, where he asked some girls about Elle Greenway.

"Miss Elle,"one of them yelled out, "Miss Elle there's someone here to see you."

Even though she was expecting him, Elle was still surprised to see Dr. Spencer Reid there. She took him to her office. "It's good to see you Reid. Really, it's just...Why are you here?"

"I guess I'm here to make amends."

"What?"

"I've been thinking about it. I think...I wasn't a good friend to when you needed me too be."

Elle laughed. "Reid, you know if any one owes amends, it's me. I blamed you guys for me getting shot. I was angry then. You, in fact, were the one trying to reach out." She looked at him. "Okay Chico, what's really going on? Something has got you bothered, and I don't think it has anything to do with me."

"I...Elle the agent who replace you...her name is Emily." Reid found himself telling Elle all about Emily Prentiss. How she first came to the BAU. About her first case with him and Gideon in Gitmo. About Reid becoming a drug addict. About how she and Reid became close and started dating. About the pregnancy, everything.

Elle listened intently. She had a curious smile on her face by the time he was done. She shook her head. "You're stuck for an answer aren't you? About what to do?"

"Yeah. I really am."

"First of all, you love her. You know that, right? Just listening to you now, I know you love her. You can't let her go."

"But I don't know how to win her back."

"That's easy. Reid, the kids here, a lot of them don't want to be helped. I reach out to them, and they push me away. So I reach out some more. They push me away again. And again. But many times, eventually they stop pushing me away, and I help them. That's what you have to do. You need to go back there, and keep trying. If she loves you even half as much as you love her, she'll reach out to you too."

"What if she doesn't Elle?"

"Sometimes Reid, love means not giving up on someone else. Even if they have given up."

Elizabeth Prentiss

After he was done talking with Elle, Spencer Reid's phone rang. he didn't recognize the number.

"Hello?"

"Spencer?"

He didn't recognize the voice at first.

"Spencer, this is Elizabeth Prentiss."

"Ambassador?'

"Just Elizabeth Spencer. How are you?"

"I'm fine. How's Emily?" Spencer could not believe that Emily's mother was calling him.

"She's ...coping. I understand you're taking some time away?"

"Yeah, I just needed a few days away."

"I can understand that. Spencer, you know that Emily and I...we still have difficulty sometimes. But I love her very much."

"I know that. She loves you too."

"My point is Spencer, I try not to interfere in her life but at the same time I care about her deeply. She misses you."

"I...I want to believe that, but "

"No but Spencer. She misses you. I don't think she's quite ready to admit it yet, but I can see it. I just want you to know that if you love her...Spencer I will do anything I can to help. Just call me. And know no matter what she had told you in the past, she loves you."

* * *

_A/N: I want to thank everyone who has been reviewing and giving feedback. The plot bunny in charge of the last chapter is an evil plot bunny named Irontail(no I don't own him either) but we are 1 chapter closer to things going back to happy._


	11. Part III: Emily Post break up

_A/N: Okay, the last couple of chapters have been a little heavy on the Reid perspective. It is now time for Emily. I want to continue to thank everyone for their continued support, feedback, and patience for the twists and turns this fic has taken._

**Chapter 11: Emily Post break up**

* * *

Spencer Reid

"It's over." Emily couldn't believe she had said those awful, awful words. What was she thinking? How could she possibly say that to the man she loved?

_You know why. Because you love him. Because you are destroying him. Like you did Matthew. You bring nothing but darkness and destruction in your path._

That voice. She knew that voice in her head, the one that always filled her with doubt, it sounded like many people at different times. Today it sounded like Father Gamino, her priest when her family lived in Rome. The one who said she wouldn't be welcome in his church if she had an abortion. For so many years now, she fought against that voice. Sometimes she beat it. Sometimes it beat her. Sometimes it was a draw. She realized that today, it won. She just couldn't fight it, not today.

Today she was sure it was right. So she sent Spencer away. He will be better, be happier without me bringing him down.

A few days later, when she came home from the hospital, there was letter in the mail. She recognized the handwriting immediately as Spencer's. She hesitated for several minutes before she opened the letter. It said:

_Emily,_

_I love you. I will always love you, but since you tell me it's over I will respect those wishes. I need to tell you something, though. Our child, I got the remains. It took Hotch and Rossi pulling all kinds of strings, but I buried it in Arlington. There's a headstone there with just a date. I don't know why I did this really, except it occurred to me to be the thing you might do. I meant to take you there when you got out of the hospital._

_I regret nothing of our time together. You have only to say the word, and I'll be there. I love you. Forever._

_Spencer_

There was some information about where the gravestone was in Arlington. She clutched the letter and cried.

The Grave

It was a simple headstone, nothing fancy. There was an elegance to its sparseness Emily thought. She wasn't certain how Hotch and Rossi did it, but she was glad. She looked at the grave, and felt the sadness. For the second time in her life, she had been pregnant. This time, however, she wanted the child to come to term. This time, the pregnancy was a sign of hope. But then everything went wrong.

As Emily sat there, looking at the headstone, she felt the sadness change a bit. The knot she had in her stomach since she left the hospital yesterday slowly disappeared, but in it's place was a feeling of emptiness. She knew what was missing, but she didn't want to think about it.

_I did the right thing. I know I did._ She kept saying that over and over again.

But all the while, she felt a light touch on her hand. She imagined hearing Spencer's calming voice, just like that first night they were together. He held her so close after she woke up from nightmares, and she felt safe and secure. And loved.

David Rossi

The next day, Emily was back in the BAU. She was buried in paperwork, working on consults. The number of them was almost overwhelming, but it didn't really bother her. She was glad to have something to occupy her mind that wasn't about her personal life. The only distraction was that every so often she looked at Spencer's empty desk.

"He's on leave." Emily almost jumped out of her chair. She turned around to see Dave Rossi there. "Reid took some time off. He should be back next week."

"I know. Hotch told me."

"You know, you could take some time off too. A few more days might be good for you."

"I'm fine Rossi. This is what I need."

Rossi shrugged his shoulders. His eyes were full of concern. Emily knew that look, and she hated it. Rossi had an infuriating habit of helping when no one asked him to. It was like he took responsibility for everyone's lives, that he always wanted to help make everything better. Emily did that to, from time to time, but she hated it when Rossi did it.

"I'm fine Rossi."

He nodded. "Keep saying it over and over, you might start to believe it."

"Rossi," she said in her warning tone.

"Look, you've been through a lot. It's okay to not be fine. It's also OK to change your mind about hasty decisions."

"What the hell are you talking about?"

"I'm pretty sure you Emily." He started to walk away.

"You don't know everything, you know that?"

"Never said I did. I do, however, regret losing a few relationships though. And I wouldn't wish that feeling of regret on anyone."

He walked away, and Emily went back to work. She tried not to think about what he just said, but it wasn't easy.

Elizabeth Prentiss

It was a few days later when Emily was having lunch with her mother. She was doing her best to put on a good face. She didn't want sympathy or pity from anyone. Especially her mother. Everything was fine.

Everything was fine.

_Keep telling yourself that._

_Shut up Rossi._

"How is work, Emily?" her mother asked.

"It's fine. I'm just glad to get back to a normal routine."

"And Spencer?"

"He's away. He took some time off."

"That might not be such a bad idea, Emily."

"I'm fine mother. I'm just fine." The edge in her voice was one that Elizabeth Prentiss recognized all too well. It was in Emily's voice since she was a teenager, usually when Elizabeth was asking her a question. Any question.

They talked about other things for a while. Then suddenly, Emily said, "Do you know what he did? He buried...He got the remains and buried them. There's a grave with..."

"Have you been there?"

"Yes. It's at Arlington. I still can't believe he managed that, but that isn't the point."

"Then what is?"

"It's just so...so...un-Reid-like!"

"What do you mean?'

"Mom, you've met Reid. He's all logic and science and facts. If he hears a romantic tale about someone catching a falling star, and he points out it's impossible. He has a hard time with metaphor and faith. This is totally unlike him."

"Then why did he do it?"

"He thought I would want it done. He..." She started crying. She could not stop herself. Her mother held her hand, and hugged her. After Emily calmed down, she said she had to go.

After she left, Elizabeth thought for a while. Then she took out her phone and dialed.

"Hello, Spencer?"

George Prentiss

One week. Spencer Reid had been back to work for one. One week of Reid trying to talk to Emily. One week of Emily putting him off, until finally he stopped.

He looked peaceful on Friday afternoon, happy. Morgan tried to entice him to going out.

"No thanks, I've got plans."

"Plans, huh? Doing what?"

"Dancing."

"Seriously? Where?"

"That's classified Morgan."

Emily was happy. Spencer was moving on now, and now he could be happy. That was what she wanted for him, what he deserved.

That night she had her own plans. Her mother had strong-armed her into going to a formal dinner at the embassy. The truth is Emily didn't mind this time. She wanted to relax and not be at her place. That happiness she started out with didn't last. A few hours into the night, she went out into one of the balcony areas to get away from everyone. She allowed herself to cry.

"Emily? What's wrong?" The voice was deep and soft. She knew who it was before she turned around, her father George Prentiss.

George was tall and athletic, with a face that was even sterner than Hotch's. George was a former marine, who preferred diplomacy through intimidation. At the moment, however, his eyes were soft and concerned for his daughter.

"I lost him Daddy." Her voice sounded like a little girl.

He hugged her. "It'll be all right."

"No, Daddy. I thought I could be strong. I thought if I knew he could be happy, that would be enough. But I see all these people, all these men I used to date. None of them are Spencer. It's so selfish, I want him here. I want him to be with me."

"That doesn't sound selfish to me."

"It is. I've brought him so much pain. You should have seen him when he thought he was going to be a father. He was so happy. He deserves so much more than he will ever get with me. And he was willing settle for that, and I just kept pushing him away."

"Emily, if he loves, if he _really_ loves you, then he won't give up."

Emily nodded, without believing him. He knew she was just humoring him. He hugged her, and let her have her privacy.

When he walked into the main area of the room, his wife immediately knew something was wrong. She intercepted him.

"Where are you going George?"

"I'm going to find that scrawny academic twit, and drag his ass in here."

Elizabeth sighed. Keeping George from being a bull in a china shop was one of her constant chores. It wasn't one she was always successful at. "And what, exactly, is that going to accomplish?"

"Our daughter is miserable. I am not going to stand around and do nothing."

"George Barrett Prentiss, there is nothing you are going to accomplish by harassing Spencer Reid. And did Emily ask you to fix anything? The only thing we can do, is listen to her and do what we comfort her until it passes."

"That's your plan? That's you whole plan for helping Emily?"

Elizabeth sighed. He did this every time, and every time it worked. "I already did what could be done to fix this situation."

"What do you mean?"

"Spencer called me earlier. I made sure he was on the guest list. All he has to do is get through the front door."

"Has he managed that yet?"

"You need to learn patience George. Really."

A Voice

Emily Prentiss pulled herself together. A lifetime of being the daughter of Elizabeth and George Prentiss taught her how to regain her composure. She lost there, but she had now. She had to, because no matter how much she wanted to be Spencer, she knew it wasn't right. Love, true love, was about putting the other person's needs before your own. She couldn't do put Spencer through this anymore.

She walked into the main room, and put her best face on for the people there, especially for her parents. But, she was still surprised when she heard a voice ask, "Do you want to dance?"

* * *

_A/N: I have yet to discover any real details from the show about Prentiss's father, so this is how I like to think of him. We will find out who the voice is in Chapter 12. Just be ready, because it will be a long chapter._


	12. Part III: The Gala

**Chapter 12: The Gala**

"It is love, not faith, that removes mountains." - George Sand

* * *

"Would you like to dance?"

Emily turned around to face the source of the question, and found herself face to face with Dr. Spencer Reid. Her heart stopped for a minute. _He's here._ She realized she hadn't answered his question. She didn't know what to do.

One part of her was resolute, push him away. _He's better off without me causing pain in his life. _Another part yearned for him, yearned to just say yes. Both parts were equally strong right now, so she didn't know what to do.

"Emily, would you like to dance?"

"Dance?" She was in disbelief. _What was he doing here? How did he get here?_

"I see people dancing. I'm not the greatest dancer, but I think I can manage."

She still said nothing.

"You know what the great thing about dancing is? It doesn't require a big commitment. You decide one dance at a time if you want to keep going. We could dance for one song, and then you could decide if you want to keep dancing. What do you say? Just one dance?"

"Yes." The answer whispered out of her, without her two warring sides issuing it. It came from somewhere else.

Reid guided her to the dance floor. She looked at him, he looked back with those chocolate brown eyes she loved. It seemed forever since she had looked deeply into them. "I wasn't expecting you tonight. Why are you here?"

"To dance with you."

"Reid, I ..." She searched for the words, but didn't know what to say.

"It's OK, you don't need to say anything. I'm here because I want to be here. I think you might want me to be here too. I'm not asking for anything. I just want to be here with you. I love you Emily. And like I said before, I haven't given up on us yet."

"Reid, isn't it possible that we're doomed? Us being together just causes us pain. You deserve so much more."

"But what I want is you. I want a life with you, and I've never wanted anything so badly. Life brings both pain and joy. I would never trade my mother for anything, but my life with her had some of each."

"Reid, I don't know... I've missed you. But I'm just not sure."

"You don't have to be. Right here, us dancing, that's all I'm asking for at this moment. When the song's over, I'll ask if you want another dance. I'll dance with you for as long as you'll let me."

"What if I say I don't want anymore dances tonight?"

"Then I'll stay here as long as you let me."

"What if I tell you to leave?"

"Then I'll leave."

"What if I said I don't want you to ever to come back?"

"I respectfully refuse."

"Come again?"

"If you ask me to leave, I'll leave. For now. But I'll call. I'll visit. I will send you gifts. I'll ask you out. I know you think it should be over, but I think the problem is that you're afraid. That's OK, I was afraid too. You didn't give up on us then, I'm not giving up on us now."

"Why not? What makes you so sure?"

"I have faith."

"When did you become a man of faith?"

"I'm not certain. Sometime between the time you became pregnant and now, I guess."

"Guess? Since when did you start guessing?"

"We're always guessing. You and me. Everyone. We all guess. As we go along we find ways to make better and better guesses. Mathematical models, statistical analysis, computer models of weather patterns, even profiling - all just different ways of guessing. But sometimes, when we guess we realize it isn't just a guess. We know. I know I love you and that I will always love you. Sometimes it feels like I've always loved you. That's the feeling I have faith in." He wrapped his arms around her, and she tucked herself into him.

She forgot how much she missed this, the Reid rambles. Sometimes they were tangents that lead nowhere, but sometimes ... And then how it felt when he held her. There was still that part of her that told her this was a mistake. It would be kinder if she sent him away. He didn't really understand, the good times would be far and few in between. She knew that.

The music stopped. "Shall we dance some more?" Spencer asked.

"Yes." She didn't know why she said that. There was a part of her that told her this was helping no one, it was hurting them both. That voice was loud and strong in her head, she was ignoring it right now. There was another voice, it was quieter but somehow more intense. It told her this is what was right.

Dance after dance, they held onto each other.

From across the room, Ambassador Prentiss and her husband watched the couple. "I told you," she said, "we just need to let them work it out."

"Maybe."

"George," she said in a warning tone.

"I'm not doing anything."

She put a reassuring arm on his shoulder, "You're worrying about them. That's very loving."

"Not them. Just my little girl."

After a few songs, Emily looked at Spencer and said in a soft voice, "I don't want to be here anymore Spencer."

"Where do you want to be?"

"Home."

"Do you want me to take you home?"

"I want to go home with you. Just for the night."

"Okay. Let's go."

A little while later, the two of them were at Spencer's apartment.

"Are you sleeping on the bed or the couch?" Emily asked.

"If you want to sleep alone, I'll stay on the couch."

"No, I mean the last time we were separated you slept on the couch. Have you been doing that again?"

"No. I've been sleeping on the bed."

"Oh." She felt a little disappointed, for reasons she chose not to examine. "Good. The couch is bad for your back."

"And you? Have you been sleeping well?"

"No, not really. You know, I just realized, I don't have anything to change into here."

"Yes you do. You still have some clothes here. And a go bag."

"Really?"

"Yeah, wait here, and I'll get it." Spencer went into his bedroom to get her spare go bag. While he did, she looked at his desk. There was a digital picture frame that was cycling through pictures of Reid's Mom, the team, her, and then an image of an ultrasound of the baby. Then a picture of the headstone. Emily watched it, entranced almost.

"Emily?"

She turned to see Reid standing there, with her go bag. "I been there, at the grave" she said. "The headstone seems bare without a name."

"We never decided on one. I didn't feel like I could name her by myself."

"Her?"

"This week, it started to feel right thinking it's a girl. I have no reason for that. I just..."

"I'm sorry." She cast her eyes down. He's sad, she thought. I did this to him. I got him excited about this and then I lost the baby. He was going to be such a good father, and I ruined it.

She didn't realize how close he was until she felt his hand lift up her chin until her eyes met his. "It isn't your fault, Emily."

"Spencer..."

"It isn't Emily. Is isn't your fault we lost the baby. It isn't your fault, it isn't my fault. There's no unsub to blame. It's just something that happened. It's sad, but there's no one to blame. No one."

"You don't know that. It's me. Somehow, I should have ..."

Spencer held her tight and said," It isn't your fault Emily. It isn't. It just isn't." Spencer looked at her, and then he suddenly knew exactly what was happening, what had been happening. He wasn't dealing with Emily Prentiss the woman. This was the 15 year old Emily Prentiss, who just wanted to be accepted. This was the part of her that didn't think she was worthy of being loved.

"Listen to me Emily," he said," I love you. Not what you've done, not because of what you might do. I love you because you're you. You are beautiful, in mind, in body. I will always love you. I've never not loved you. You are profoundly worthy of love. I need you to understand that." He gazed into her eyes, and saw the tears start to leak out her eyes and run down her cheeks.

She grabbed him tightly, so tightly he was afraid she might start breaking his bones. He didn't say anything. If she broke bones, she broke bones. Then she slowly let go of him, looked him in the eyes and said,"I'm exhausted Spencer. I just want to get cleaned up and go to sleep, if that's OK."

"Sure, sure go ahead."

She went to the bathroom, taking her go bag with her.

Spencer sat on the couch, tired. It was going well, he thought. At least he hoped it was. It felt good to have her in his apartment again. It was good to embrace her again. As he listened to the shower run, he allowed their relationship play in his head. Not just the last several months that they were dating, but the time before that, when she had just joined the team. He was thinking about the time he accidentally hit her in the head with an empty film canister while doing his physics-magic. What made him smile was remembering how eager she was have him demonstrate it for her.

"Spencer, come in here." Emily's voice disrupted him from his memory. Her voice came from the bedroom. He went in and saw her, freshly showered and wearing a simple sleeping shirt. She was looking at his bed, particularly the full length body pillow he left on the bed. The one he bought after the break-up. "This is new." She said. She had that deadpan look that made her look almost mad.

"You said pillows helped you the last time we were separated. I just used a big one. It's really not quite the same though."

"You put a sleeping shirt on it."

"I'm sorry. It's just, it seemed like to impersonal a proxy without something of yours. I'm sorry..I didn't mean..."

Emily started laughing. "You put my shirt with Winnie the Pooh on it." She laughed some more. It wasn't mean or cruel. It was the Emily laughter he had missed, warm and musical. She hugged him. "This is first time I've laughed since..." she paused, not wanting to reference the loss of their child. "Thank you. " She kissed his cheek. "I love you Spencer. Come to bed soon. I've been snuggling a purple pillow, and it's nowhere near the same."

It was the first time in weeks that Emily went right to sleep. Sleep, however, did not bring peaceful dreams. In her dream, she was in a room she knew all too well. It was the room where Ben Cyrus beat her. Sometimes she relived that beating in her dreams. This time, it was different.

Like before, as he beat her she said, "I can take it."

"You should. You deserve this. Look at you. You hurt and destroy. You had an abortion. You started Matthew Benton on a path of destruction and despair. And Spencer... You made him want a family, and then you couldn't bring it to term. What are you doing now? Seducing him again? Setting him up to damage him further? Haven't you hurt him enough?"

As she cried, as she felt the guilt that every accusation was true, she heard another voice speaking. This one was kinder, gentler. It spoke softly, but she could hear it speaking clearly.

"It's okay, Emily. It's okay. I'm here. I'll always be here. It's okay."

She opened her eyes, and realized it was Spencer's voice. He was sitting up, and he was holding her and gently rocking her while he whispered those words over and over again to her.

She touched her hand to his cheek. It was wet with tears. "Spencer, are you OK?".

"Yeah. I just had a bad dream."

"What happened?"

"I lost you. I was tied to a goal post naked, and I saw Ben Cyrus beat you to death."

"Oh honey."

"Then Tobias Henkel starting shooting everyone we knew. I woke up just in time to hear you crying out. I'm guessing you had a nightmare too?"

"Yeah. Cyrus had a busy night. He was telling me how much damage I've done to people, to you."

"It's a lie. You haven't hurt me."

"I've caused you pain."

"No. Things haven't always gone smoothly for us. There's only two things that happened that caused me lasting pain. We lost our child, and I almost lost you. I can bear the loss of our child, as long as I don't lose you."

"Both of those are my fault. You didn't want kids, until we started talking about. I convinced you that you wanted a family."

"You're wrong. You didn't convince me of anything. I let go of fear. I did that because of you, because you helped me to stop being afraid. It's a good thing, maybe one the greatest things to not be afraid."

"I just feel ..."

"Responsible? Guilty? It's normal. But it isn't fault. Unless you want to also take credit for everything that's gone right."

"I'm not responsible for all the good things."

"You're also not responsible for all the bad either. And guess what? When you woke up from your nightmare, you were concerned about me. After having a nightmare, you were more concerned about me than yourself. Doesn't that tell you how good a person you are?"

"Have I ever been this passionate about you?"

"Always."

"It just doesn't feel that way to me right now."

"That doesn't make it any less true. Do you remember the first time we kissed? I tried to be distant, and you were the one that broke down the walls. You're the reason we started going to counseling. You've been passionate and me. And us."

"I want to believe that, but I'm not certain."

"That's OK. I'm not asking for certainty. All I was looking for tonight was a dance. But you gave me more, so much more. You wouldn't have come here a week ago. You are passionate about us. And I'm grateful for that."

Neither one of them spoke for a few minutes, then Emily felt something grow hard in Spencer's pelvic region. "Uh, Spencer."

"Yeah," he squeaked.

"It feels like you're more than a little aroused right now."

"That's just a physiological response to close contact with you. Just ignore it and it'll go away."

"What if I don't want it to go away?"

"Emily, I.."

"C'mon Vegas, you started this when you showed up tonight. Are you all in or what?"

"I..."

Emily kissed him, long, hard, and passionate. "C'mon, take your top off. I want to feel you."

Reid took off his shirt, and Emily immediately started kissing his chest. She ran her fingers over his bare torso. She stopped long enough to remove her sleeping shirt. No matter how often he saw them, Spencer Reid was always blown away by the sight of Emily's breasts. He reached up and began to touch, caress, and tweak them. A moan of pleasure escaped her lips. As Spencer began to kiss and suck her breasts, she reached into his pants and began to stroke his hardness. They went on for a while like this, until she couldn't take it anymore.

She pulled off his pajama bottoms and straddled him, riding his cock. She had missed this, and from the moans of pleasure he was making, he missed her too. She held on to Reid's headboard for balance as she continued to ride him, faster and faster. Just as she felt like she was on the edge, he moved in such a way that they switched positions so he was on top of her. He changed the rhythm, making it even faster than she did. He pushed into her even further. He took her from the edge to that moment of ecstasy she was looking for, and as she found it she let out a cry of pleasure. Then, she felt him achieve that same moment, that release. He collapsed on top of her, and she held him tight against her.

"Oh, Spencer," she whispered. As she did, the part of her that resisted Spencer before vanished. It would be back, she was sure, but for now it was gone. She was glad.

"So tell me Mr. Kama Sutra, is there a position for lovers who have just been reunited?"

"Actually there is, it's called Eternity. It starts with the woman on her side, here I'll show you..."

* * *

_A/N:This chapter has been sitting here waiting for the last three chapters ever since the evil plot bunny came along. I'd love to know what you think. This, by the way, end Part III. We are now at the halfway point, we have about 12 more chapters to go._


	13. Part IV: Back Together

**Chapter 13: Back Together**

"Burdens shared are easier to bear." - Jesse Jackson

* * *

The next morning, there was a knock on Spencer Reid's door. When Reid opened it, Derek Morgan was there. "Morning kid," Morgan said.

"Hey Morgan, what's going on?" Reid said.

"We need to talk." He came in.

"Sure, come right in." If Morgan noticed his sarcasm, he didn't show it.

"We're worried about you, kid."

"We?"

"Everyone. We've been keeping our distance, but we're worried about you two. I know you are hoping the two of you will get back together, but after this week you've got to know that may not happen."

"But it could," Reid said.

"It could, but you can't stop living till then. I'm taking you out tonight."

"No. Thank you, but no. I'm just fine."

"As far as I can tell, outside of work the only thing you do is visit the grave."

"I was out dancing last night."

"Really? By yourself?"

"Yeah."

"Where did you go?"

"What does that matter?"

"Reid, where did you go last night?"

Reid realized Morgan wasn't going to let this go. "At the embassy. There was a dinner and ball. Emily's mom got me in."

"Reid," Morgan said,"this is what I'm talking about. Maybe the two of you will get back together, but it will take time. In the meantime, you need to give her space."

"He did." Both Reid and Morgan turned to see Emily standing there. "He gave me space, but thank God he came after me."

"Emily," Morgan started, but Emily cut him off.

"Why don't you sit down Derek." Emily said. There was no anger in her voice, she spoke in the tone of a friendly hostess. She turned to Spencer and said," JJ just called me. She wanted to talk to me, I told her to come here. Is that okay, baby?"

"Yeah, sure."

"Good. I think our friends want to make sure we're OK. It's a good thing."

A little while later, both JJ and Garcia were there. The five of them sat around Reid's table while he and Emily made brunch for them.

"So what happened last night," Morgan asked.

Spencer and Emily shared a look, and then Emily said,"I was at a function at the Embassy last night. I was about to leave when Spencer showed up." She smiled.

"I ...I just hoped she might be there and maybe I could spend a little time with her. Things actually went quite a bit better than I hoped." He smiled, and shyly looked at her.

"What does this mean exactly," JJ asked.

"I...we're not sure yet," Spencer began, then Emily interrupted.

"We're back. We're back together I mean. Right?" She looked at Spencer, looking for reassurance.

"Yes." He smiled and touched her hand reassuringly.

"Are you sure?" Garcia asked. All three of them looked concerned.

"Yes," Emily said. "It's not been easy lately, but we're getting ourselves back on track and. As a matter of fact, we have someplace we have to go to this afternoon. Someplace we've both visited separately, but we haven't seen together like parents should"

Everyone realized she meant the grave of their unborn child.

"Do you want company?" Garcia asked.

"No. Today, it's just me and Spencer."

* * *

They stood in front of the grave for several minutes. Neither one spoke. Emily didn't think the loss of her child could feel any more devastating and final than that day at the hospital, but looking at the headstone brought everything back. She tried to look stoic, like she had been raised to do. It lasted for a few minutes, then the tears came. They came in a light trickle at first, but then the tears flowed like a mighty fountain. Emily cried out,"Oh Spencer." Then she latched onto him in a tight embrace. Then she all but collapsed into his arms.

They stood like that for a while, Emily sobbing and leaning into Spencer, who just stood there holding her. A few tears ran down his cheeks, and in his head he was hoping somehow this would bring Emily peace. Somehow.

When Emily stopped crying, she lifted her head and looked into Reid's eyes. "How can you come here everyday? How can you face this everyday? Doesn't it make you sad?"

"It did at first. Then it felt better. It was a way to stay connected."

"To what?"

"To us. To our family."

"We don't have a family."

"We are a family. You and me. And her." He pointed to the headstone. "And everyday I tell her I haven't given up yet. I did for a while, though. It took a lot of meetings and encouragement from some good people for me to find my faith."

"You keep saying it's a girl. There's no way to know."

"I know. It just felt good to think of our child as a girl."

"But you don't want kids. Not really."

" Yes I do. I want kids and I want a family."

"You know, the miscarriage could be a sign I might not be able to have kids."

Spencer resisted the urge to quote statistics about birth and miscarriages. "Maybe. Maybe not. If all I have for my family is you, that will be enough. But if we had a child, then _that _would be enough. If we couldn't have children of our own and adopted, _that_ would be enough. If we became foster parents or something else, _that_ would be enough. But whatever happens, I want you as an integral part of my life. I love you Emily. I will always love you, and I want you as part of my life forever."

Emily couldn't talk for a few moments. As Spencer talked to her, she could feel the sincerity in his words. As he talked, she had a picture in her mind, of the two of them in a house with children. Was this even possible? She didn't know for certain. Her rational mind was trying to get a handle on the moment, when another part of her mind spoke to Spencer. "Are you proposing to me right now Spencer?"

He paused for a moment, considering the words he had just spoken. He swallowed nervously. "Yes."

She considered him for a moment. The part of her that ended things between them at the hospital, that nagging voice that had been telling her she was no good, the part that had been trying to sabotage their relationship, it died in that moment. She simply said, "Yes."

They kissed and hugged right there. Then they left the grave site. Later, they would add a name to the gravestone. It would simply say, Our Angel.


	14. Part IV: Engaged

_A/N: I didn't think about the ring till later. Then this chapter came to mind._

**Chapter 14: Engaged**

"Love is the strangest bird that ever winged about the world." - Lawrence Ferlinghetti

* * *

On their way back from the cemetery, they started talking about telling the team.

"We're going to need to tell the team." Spencer said. "At least, I think we should tell them as soon as possible. I don't want to keep it a secret."

"I don't want to keep it a secret either, but I don't want to tell people as long as this finger is naked," she said holding up her hand.

"I'm sorry. I didn't actually plan on doing it like that."

"It's fine, I'm just saying let's go ring shopping."

"That's not necessary. I've got one."

"Excuse me?"

"That wasn't entirely spontaneous. What I said back there, it's a variation of a speech I kept rehearsing, right after you were pregnant."

"Really?"

"I didn't relish the idea of you giving birth without us being married. I just hadn't quite worked up the nerve to propose before …you know."

"Really? You've had the ring? That wasn't just a spur of the moment thing?"

"I've been thinking about it for a while, I just…I almost said no back there because I was afraid you would say no because of the timing, but…anyway I've got a ring."

"Where? At your place?"

"No. I …I put someplace for safe keeping, after that day in the hospital."

"So where is it?"

"You want it right now?"

"Things are going a little fast right now, I'd like all the reassurances you can give me."

"A friend is holding on to it for me."

"Who? Morgan?"

"No. I'll give him a call." Reid took out his cell phone and dialed. Prentiss's heart almost stopped when she heard Reid say," Rossi? Can I come over? I need that box I gave you."

A little while later that were at Dave Rossi's house. He opened the door and had a bemused look on his face. "I'm not really surprised you called Spencer. Hey Emily, good to see you."

As they walked in, Rossi pointed to a newspaper laying on an end table,"It's a pretty good picture."

"What are talking about?" Emily said. She picked up the newspaper. It was the society page, and there was a picture from the Embassy last night showing Emily and Spencer dancing. "Oh my God."

"I'm take it this means the two of you are back together?"

"Yeah, that's why I need that box." Spencer said.

"It's on the table in other room. I'll get it."

Emily, meanwhile, was reading the caption. "Emily Prentiss, daughter of Ambassador at-large Elizabeth Prentiss dances the night away with a friend. Her companion is as yet unidentified, but unnamed sources indicate someone she has a long relationship with."

"Companion?" Reid said. "It makes me sound like a dog."

"It's better than calling you a boy toy or lover."

"Lover is less emasculating."

When Rossi came back in, he handed a plain, cardboard box to Spencer. Spencer opened it, and started going through various things inside.

"I didn't know you read the society pages, Rossi."

"I don't, usually, but a reporter called me today asking if I knew who the man dancing with you was? "

"What did you say?"

"I asked if there weren't more important stories that needed covering. So, you two are back together."

"Inescapably." Emily said. "Hopefully, eternally."

"What do you mean?," Rossi asked.

"It means that I need this right now." Spencer said, holding a small jewelry box. " I'm guessing you want it right this time?"

"I just need the ring. Everything else was perfect."

Spencer, however, was already down on one knee. He had the box opened to show a ring with a small yet elegant diamond. "I really don't know the right way to do this, but I've loved you forever Emily. I just didn't know it. But I know it now, and I know I'll love you forever. Will you marry me?"

"Of course I will." She gave him her hand to lift him back up, and then she kissed him."

After they kissed, Rossi said," Did you realize this changes things a bit. I mean, Strauss has let Hotch keep you two on the same team since the two of you were just dating before. It's not going to be that easy when she finds out."

"We know," Emily said,"but I'd rather not be able to work with him and be married to him, than work with him and not be able to marry him."

"And I feel the same way," Reid said.

"Well, in that case, congratulations. You said, this time? You proposed before?"

"I said yes before. We were visiting the grave, and he just went all out. I just wanted to have the ring before we told people."

"Really?" Rossi seemed perplexed. "You don't strike me as being that hung up on details like that."

"I like some traditions. More importantly, I want people to know it's real. Spencer and I are going to get married."

"You two set a date yet?"

"We literally just got engaged, we haven't made any plans yet."

"Well, than maybe you want to spend some time with it. If the two of you just got engaged, you probably want some alone time."

They, very gratefully, excused themselves and went to Reid's place. They had started talking about how and when they wanted to get married on the way there. When they got out out and walked to Reid's door they both got a huge surprise.

"Spencer, it's good to see you. I heard you were looking for me." Standing in front of them was Jason Gideon.

* * *

_A/N: No, it's not a hallucination this time. This is really Jason Gideon. It seemed the right time for him to show up._


	15. Part IV: Gideon

**Chapter 15: Gideon**

"It is in pardoning that we are pardoned." – St. Francis of Assisi

* * *

"Gideon." It was a whisper. Spencer couldn't believe it. He had just about given up on Garcia ever finding him. Then he realized he hadn't told Emily he was looking for Gideon to begin with.

"Well, this is a surprise," Emily said.

"It's good to see you two. I heard the two of you had become close."

"Don't do that." Spencer said. "I don't need one more person who drops out of my life, then keeps tabs on me. I really don't." Then he walked inside.

Emily looked at Gideon and said," What are doing here?"

"Apparently Garcia was trying to track me down. He wanted to talk to me, apparently."

"No, I know about that. He doesn't know I know, but I know. Garcia told me. So you tell me why you came. Because if it's just to pop in and vanish, then just go away now. He's had too many people disappoint him and betray him in his life."

"So, you're his guardian now?"

"This isn't about me. This is about him. He is the most important thing in my life right now. I don't want anything else to hurt him. If you want to talk to him, fine. But if this going to be another Jason Gideon disappearing act, then just get over with. Otherwise, come in." Emily went inside.

Jason Gideon stood outside, considering the couple. Things had changed a lot. Should he go inside? Or were the two of them better off without him?

Inside his apartment, Reid sat down at his table. He had wanted to see Gideon again, to apologize for casting him as a villain in his mind. To make peace with him. But right now, he couldn't breathe. Suddenly he sensed a slight touch on his shoulders and neck.

"Are you all right?"

"I don't know. I should have told you…I ..it was after we broke up and .."

"Garcia told me you asked her to track him down. She was a little vague on why."

"It's hard to explain."

"You don't have to explain to me if you don't want to. You wanted to make peace with someone from your past, that's all I need to know."

"You deserve to know. After we broke up, I uh…I felt the cravings again. To use. Sometimes when that happens, the craving comes in the form of a visual…someone I know. This time it looked and sounded like Gideon. I felt like I needed to apologize for that."

"I don't you need to apologize to about that," Gideon's voice surprised them both. "Sorry, I came all this way, I thought we should at least talk. From both of your reactions I'm guessing we have a lot to talk about."

Neither one of them said anything.

"Okay, I'm the one who left, I'll start. I was out west, and I currently live in Canada. Garcia did a good job of looking, but she's not as good as the people who helped me cut my ties."

"Who was that," Emily asked," Witness Protection?"

"No, the CIA."

"Oh, of course."

"The ring, does it signify what I think it does?"

"We're engaged."

"For how long?"

"Today." Spencer said.

"Wow. Congratulations."

"How did you know?" Spencer asked.

"About the ring? It's right there."

"No, that I was looking for you."

"I get a text anytime some is trying to find me. From the information I had, I knew it was Garcia. I called her and she said you asked her to look for me. She didn't know why. I guess I heard the why when I came in."

"That's part of it. There's a question I had that your letter didn't answer."

"What was the question? I thought I put everything down."

"There was one thing you didn't explain. I mean I understand not wanting to do this anymore. I can see how this job would wear someone down. But you went to your cabin, wrote the letter and just left. Why didn't you come in and tell us face-to-face? Why did you have to just vanish?"

" I had to do it like that. You have your addiction Spenser, and I have mine. I knew if I walked into the BAU I would not be able to resign. I would feel compelled to take whatever cases were there. I would keep doing it or trying to. I had to stop and this was the only way I could. I hope you can understand that."

"I guess I do. I never thought about what you did as an addiction. But I do know what it feels like to be in its grip."

"I'm sorry you know how that feels, Spencer."

"I'm not." It was Emily. The two men looked at her. "I'm glad you're who you are, and I don't know how to take that tough times away and let you be who you are. You know everyone looks at you, and they think about what an extraordinary mind you have. But it's your heart, how much you care about people. The empathy you have. I wouldn't change you for anything. That means things like that too."

Spencer smiled at her. He always felt like a damaged soul, and it was why he felt afraid she would leave him at some point. In that moment, he realized how she accepted his scars. She had no idea how loved she just made him feel.

"Now I believe it." Gideon said.

"Believe what?" Emily asked.

"You two. I didn't believe it when Garcia told me. That the two of you were in love, I didn't see it before. Outside, I saw a glimmer. Right now, though, I saw it. For sure. You two got engaged today?"

"Yeah, he proposed at the grave of our unborn child."

Gideon looked at both of them. "You might want to consider down playing that part the story. Anyway, I think the two of you might need some time alone." He laid a small business card on the table. "If you want to talk, that's how to contact me. I'll call later. I promise."

A few moments later, they were alone. At last. "So, we really need to tell Hotch about this." Emily said.

"Gideon?"

"Us getting married."

"You know, we can just do it now. Get married I mean. A quick flight to Vegas and …"

"No."

"What?"

"No, Spencer. We're not eloping. I want a wedding announcement. I want people to know was a considered decision, not just an impulse. I want a wedding in a church, surrounded by our friends and family. I want your parents to be there. I want my parents to be there. Like I said before, I like some traditions."

"I just don't want to turn it into a state dinner."

"It won't. We won't let it. So, can you live with that?"

"As long as you're wife, I can live with just about anything."

"Good, because I plan on being your wife. Forever." Then she kissed him. Repeatedly.

* * *

_A/N: A little bit of fluff, but there were some things that needed to be said here._


	16. Part IV: Announcements

_A/N: It's time for Emily and Spencer to tell friends and family they're engaged._

**Chapter 16: Announcements**

"The ripe melon falls of itself" - Chinese saying

* * *

Emily woke up next to Spencer Reid. Actually, next isn't the right word. She woke up holding him close to her. She loved waking up next to his bare back. There was something about the texture of his back in the morning that was for her, in a word, perfect.

He's my fiance. She loved that sentence. She loved that it was true and she loved that it made her feel stronger than she did the day before. So much of the pain of the recent weeks was gone. She knew that working at the BAU mean living in the midst of darkness, but being engaged to Spencer made her feel like the two of lit a candle that robbed the darkness of it's power.

She ran her hands over his bare skin, which caused him to turn towards her. "Hey you," he said.

"Hey. You know what the best thing about today is?"

"No. What?"

"I'm engaged to you."

He smiled. She loved that smile. It gave her a warm feeling that started in her stomach and then radiated to the rest of her body.

"So," he said. "I'm guessing you're ready to start telling people."

"Oh yes. We'll tell Hotch tomorrow. When should we tell your mother?"

"I'll write her a letter today."

"A letter? Excuse me, didn't you visit her to tell her about us being broken up?"

"Yeah?"

"Don't you think you should at least call her?"

"I didn't think about it."

"Spencer, she deserves to know as soon as possible."

"That's a good point. Not right now though, it's too early."

"There is something we need to do today, though."

"What's that?"

"My car is still at the embassy. We need to get it."

"Right now?"

"No. But today." She kissed him. "Right now there's something else I want to do."

She began kissing her way down his jawline. He, in turn, moved closed to her. His hand moved downward and found one of her very sensitive spots that caused her to moan in pleasure.

* * *

It was several hours later that Diana Reid was told she had a phone call from her son. That was unusual. Spencer very rarely called her. Either he wrote a letter or he visited.

"Spencer? Is everything aright?"

"Actually Mom, things are better than all right. You'll get a letter in a few days, but Emily and I are back together."

"That's wonderful. I'm so happy."

"Well, things are a little better than that Mom. We're engaged."

"Engaged? Spencer you proposed?"

"I actually didn't intend to, it just came out."

"Of course you did. Oh Spencer, that's wonderful. Just wonderful. Have you set a date yet?"

"Mom, it just happened yesterday."

"Well, don't wait too long to set a date. I nned time make sure my schedule's clear."

"Mom, why wouldn't your schedule be clear?"

"I do have a life here Spencer."

* * *

William Reid was pleasantly surpised to hear from his son. "Spencer? How's it going?"

"I just wanted to tell you that things are better Dad. I took your advice, and well…"

"You two are back together." Relief washed through William Reid's body.

"We're engaged Dad."

"Really?" He had hoped they would get back together but this..." How did it happen?"

"Well there was this formal gala at the embassy that her mom said Emily would be attending. So I went there and asked for a dance. She said yes, and so we had another dance. And another, and then she went home with me. The next day, we...we visited the grave. She started crying, and I started talking and then I just proposed. The amazing thing is she said yes."

"Spencer, there's a lot that's amazing about that story. I'm happy for you. Both of you."

* * *

Later that day, when they went to pick up Emily's car, they found a note from Emily's mother on the windshield. It said," Emily, call me so I know you're okay."

Emily called her mother.

"So, how did it go with Spencer Emily?"

"It went fine. I see we made the society page."

"I'm sorry about that. I know you don't publicity about that. I'll do what I can to shuit it down but,..."

"No, Mom, don't worry about. I mean it, let it alone for now. Actually, I think maybe we good have dinner. All of us I mean. Spencer and I have some things to talk about with you."

"That sounds wonderful Emily, I look forward to it."

* * *

"I don't understand Emily. Why didn't you just tell her over the phone?"

"I thought she deserved to hear it from us in person."

"i was kinda hoping we could have a whole day all to ourselves."

"We will have many days all to ourselves, Spencer. We had most of today to ourselves, actually. We just spent it in bed. Besides, Mom likes you."

"She's not the one I'm worried about," Spencer muttered to himself.

* * *

Later at dinner, Spencer found himself sitting at the dinner table with Emily, her mother Elizabeth and her father George. George spent most of the meal glaring at Spencer. Actually,Spencer noticed, George spent a lot of his time glaring at people.

"So, this means the two of you are together again?" Elizabeth asked.

"Very much so, Mom. We're engaged." She held up her hand to show her parents the ring on her finger. Elizabeth smiled.

"Did it occur to you to ask for _our_ blessing _before_ you proposed, _Spencer_?" George Prentiss was obviously not pleased with this turn of events.

Before either Emily or Elizabeth could say anything, Spencer replied,"No, it really didn't."

"Excuse me?" That was not the response George was looking for.

"I had no interest in asking for your blessing. I don't need it. The only person whose opinion matters on that question is Emily."

"In some cultures, it's polite to ask permission from the the brides family first."

"And this isn't any of them. We're both above the age of consent. I don't need or want your _permission."_

Emily's eyes were wide with suprise and shock. This was turning into a train wreck. What the hell was Spencer doing?

Elizabeth was equally surprised. She wished George hadn't started this, but this was a side of Spencer she had never seen. What did he think he was doing?

George's right hand was clenching and unclenching.

Only Spencer seemed mostly calm. "Did you want to step outside Mr. Prentiss?"

"What?"

"Did you want to step outside? It's obvious you want to beat me up. You've had that look since the moment I came here tonight. Actually, you had that same look Friday night too. Well, you can glare all you want, but I'm not going to beg forgiveness from you. I love your daughter and we're going to get married, and you don't get a say in it. Period."

"You _listen_ to me, boy," George began, then Reid interrupted him.

"I'm not a boy. I'm 28. I may look young to you, but I'm not a boy. I'm a man. I'm probsably one of the few you isn't impressed by your glaring. I'm sure a lot of people are intimated by you. I've faced people a lot scarier than you. So go on, glare and act like I've committed a crime by daring to propose to Emily without your permission. You want to beat me, we'll go outside."

"You think you can take me?"

"George, what do you think you're doing?" Elkizabeth was trying to find a way to diffuse the situation.

"Spencer, are you out of your mind?" Emily could not believe Reid was confronting her father like this.

"I didn't say I could take you. I'm just not afraid of you."

Spencer stood up, and walked around the table. George stood up to meet him. The two men stood almost toe-to-toe looking each other in the eye. For a moment, there was absolute silence. Then George Prentiss nodded. He clapped Spencer Reid on the shoulder ,"You have blessing." Then he sat down and continued eating.

Spencer went back to his seat. Elizabeth was trying to figure out what just happened.

"What the hell was that?" Emily had no intention of letting the confrontation that just occurred slide.

"I answsered your father's question."

"You almost got into a fist fight."

"No, you dad wanted to know if I was worthy of you. I'm guessing not people stand up to him like that."

"A few." George said. "Not many, but a few. Not many who aren't family. So, is this what you do? When you interrogate people?"

"Depends. In this case, I realized you've been waiting for someone to demonstrate they could be like youy for her. The only way to do is provoke you and not back down."

"What if I hit you?"

"Then I'd have to take it. I've done it before."

"From one of your former girlfriends fathers?"

"No. An unsub. Emily is the first woman I've ever dated seriously."

Things went to mostly normal after a few minutes, but Emily didn't say a lot to Spencer until they were their way home. She was driving, and they were headed to her place. After they drove in silence for a while, he spoke.

"So, how long are you going to be mad at me?"

"You almost gave me a heart attack in there. Did you plan on doing that tonight?"

"No. But as soon as he asked the question, I knew I needed to do something like that. It worked. That's first time he talked to me instead of glaring at me."

She was quiet for a few minutes.

"You know, I've been trying to think of another guy I've brought to meet my parents who stood up to him in any way even resembling that."

"And?"

"You're the only one."

"Still mad?"

"I wasn't mad. Next time, you need to give me a heads up."

"I'm sorry. Next time, I'll try to talk to you about it first. Somehow. You weren't mad."

"No. Just really surprised. And a little impressed."

* * *

The next morning, Reid and Prentiss went into work a little earlier than usual. They went into Hotch's office, and said,"We have something we have to tell you."

Hotch looked up and smiled. "Does it have anything to do with this?" He held up the picture from the society page. "I already saw it."

"Yeah, well, that's not the whole story," Emily said.

"Oh?"

"We're engaged," Reid said.

Aaron Hotchner looked at both of them for a moment, trying to discern if they might be pulling his leg. Then he saw the ring on Emily's finger. "Don't get me wrong, I'm glad you two are together again. I am, but you know this could change things. Strauss was willing to let things be when the two of you were just dating, but having two agents married to each other on the same team...I don't know if I can convince her."

"We know." Emily said. "Whatever she'll agree to, we'll do."

"All right. Why don't you tell everyone else. I'll go see what I can do. Congratulations."

* * *

Hotchner didn't really relish spending time talking to Erin Strauss. It wasn't that he hated her, nor did he think she hated him. She had actually tried to help him, when she convinced the Director to authorized full retirement for him after Hayley died. She had been tough on him, sure, but he was tough on his people. Still, he knew this was going to be a tough seel.. He really wasn't certain he could to do it. It meant one of them would ahve to transfer. Maybe she would accept one of them transferring to a different BAU team. It wouldn't be ideal, he knew, but it was something.

Aaron Hotchner was expecting her to fight him tooth and nail about it. he was expecting her to quote regulations at him and threaten all kinds of things. What he didn't expect was for her to say:"What do you think Aaron?"

"I'm sorry, ma'am?"

"What do you think? Or more importantly, what do you want? Do you want them to stay on the team? Both of them?"

"Well, I , I think we have a good team ma'am. What I mean is..."

"Because if want to keep them on the team, there is a way."

"Really?"

"The Director wants to do the annual team evaluations a little differently this year. Instead of reviewing case files, a Bureau psychologist will do an evaluation of the team personally."

"A personal evaluation? How would that work, exactly?"

"He would shadow the team for a few weeks. He would review cases, interview the team and then make recommendations. If he signs off on the Reid and Prentiss serving on the team as a married couple, then there's no issue. I can have him start the evaluation in a couple of weeks, if you're interested."

Aaron thought about it.

* * *

Meanwhile, back in the conference room, the ladies were admiring Emily's engagement ring.

"Oh my goodness," Garcia said, "We never knew he bought a ring."

"Spencer is full of surprises." Emily said.

Morgan looked at him,"You two just back together and you propose? What is up with you?"

"What can I say Mogan I love her."

"You love her so much you proposed twice," Rossi said.

"Twice?" Morgan asked.

"Yeah, I didn't have the ring with me the first time. She said yes both times, so that was good."

"Did you set a date yet?" JJ asked.

"Why does everyone ask us that?" Spencer asked.

"Maybe they're afraid the two of you will elope." Morgan said.

"Nope. Emily made it crystal clear she wants a proper church wedding."

"You know, there's no way Strauss is going let the two of you stay on the team once you're married." Morgan said.

"That might not be strictly true." Everyone turned around to see Hotch there.

"What do you mean Hotch?," Emily asked.

"We're going to be evaluated in a couple of weeks."

"What do you mean, evaluated?" Rossi asked.

"By one of the FBI's operational psychologists. He's going to shadow us and conduct interviews with us. If he doesn't think a married couple on the team will have a detrimental effect on operational effectiveness, then Reid and Prentiss can stay on the team. Otherwise, one of them will have to transfer."

"That''s the deal?" Rossi asked. "Who's idea was this?"

"Strauss's."

"I don't know if it's a good idea."

"Well, it's what we have. He'll be here in a few weeks. In the meantime, we have some cases to review. JJ? Let's get started."

As the team started to go over cases, Emily and Reid sat next to each other. They hadn't really beleieved they could stay on the team once they got married, but maybe...just maybe...

* * *

A/N:This ends Part Four. Part Five starts when the team meets their evaluator, a certain Dr. Barry Peters.


	17. Part V:Dr Peters

_A/N: So, now we have 2 sections to go. I'm trying to tie this up before April. It's time to meet Dr. Peters, who will be evaluating the BAU team._

**Chapter 17:Dr Peters**

"Judgment is the ability to think of many matters at once, in their interdependence, their related importance,and their consequences." C. P . Snow

* * *

"I'm looking for Aaron Hotchner." The man looked to be in his late thirties or early forties. He wore a bright yellow button down shirt and dark pants, his conspicuous absence of a jacket or tie made Agent Anderson think this wasn't someone from the bureau.

"I'm sorry, he's in a meeting right now."

"I'm Dr. Peters, I need to see him right now."

Anderson gave him a re-assuring smile," I'm sorry, sir, but he and the team are in the briefing room right now, and they're likely to be tied up for a while, is there anything I can do for you?"

"Oh, and where is that? The briefing room? I need to see the team as well. Is that it up there?" Dr. Peters was already moving towards the briefing room, with Anderson right on his heels.

"Sir! Sir, you can't go up there." Anderson made it up there just after the man had entered the conference room.

"Good morning," Dr. Peters said after he entered the conference room. "I'm Dr. Peters, Aaron Hotchner, right?"

"I'm sorry, sir, he just ran up here. He says his name is Dr. Peters."

"Dr. Peters?" The evaluator. "It's all right Anderson." Hotch nodded, dismissing the agent. "We weren't expecting you for a coupe of weeks."

"Well, my schedule suddenly changed, so here I am. Now, I don't want to interrupt. Just keep with your briefing, and pretend I'm not here. We'll talk later."

"Well, we were just about to break. We have a case and are going to be leaving for Ohio in about an hour."

"Oh, that's great!" Dr. Peters said enthusiastically, "We can hit the ground running."

"Excuse me?"

"Didn't Chief Strauss explain the process? I'll be shadowing you on your cases. Don't worry, I have a go bag and everything. Really, I'm excited."

Everyone looked at each other nervously. Excited wasn't how they were feeling, exactly.

As everyone was getting ready, Hotch took a moment to talk with Dr. Peters. "So exactly how does this work? We've never had an evaluation like this before."

"Oh, don't worry. This will be mostly painless. I'll be staying out of your way. Just explain to the locals that I'm here to observe. They've dealt with different administrative programs, they'll understand. In any case, I'm only here to see how you function as a team. I mean, you only get so much from reading the case files. Relax, Agent Hotchner, it will be all over before you know it."

There was something about this that bothered Hotch.

* * *

The case was over, the team was going home. Reid and Prentiss were playing chess. It was hard to see who was winning, not that Hotch was paying much attention. He was sitting across from Dr. Peters, who was reviewing his small pocket notebook.

"I do have one question, Agent Hotchner."

"Yes?"

"Are they always like that?"

"Who?"

"Reid and Prentiss. I mean, if I didn't have a note here saying that they're engaged, I never would have guessed it. They act more like two team mates and nothing more."

"They have acted very professionally. That's why I'm not worried about the two of them working together."

"That's a reasonable point. Then again, repressing emotions can have a detrimental effect on performance. This case is going to serve a baseline for me anyway."

"You know, I made some calls. The reason the schedule changed was because you requested it, and you requested we not be notified."

"You figured that out with just a few phone calls, huh? During a case too, wow, you do some control issues, don't you?"

"I am in no mood to play games here."

"Neither am I. I find it's helps to see how people deal with chaos. Don't worry, everyone did fine. I actually thought you would confront me before now. I underestimated your self-restraint."

"Dr. Peters,…"

"Before you start, let me tell you that people a lot scarier than you have faced off with me. You can make my time here one long confrontation, but really what will that accomplish? Relax, you'll live longer. Trust me."

When they got back, Dr. Peters left the offices almost immediately. After he was gone, Garcia called everyone into the conference room. Projected on the briefing screen were pictures of Dr. Peters, like he was a victim or an unsub.

"What are you doing, Garcia?" Hotch said in his most disapproving tone.

"Hey boss-man, I'm protecting us. I'm making sure we do what we can to keep Reid and Prentiss on the team. So, I figured if I gave you everything there is too know about him, you cold take it from there."

"Garcia!" Hotch went from disapproving to stern, but she didn't care.

"He's smart, he has two doctorates, one in Psychology and one in Anthropology. He's not as smart as Reid, but he has worked for the FBI for 12 years."

"Garcia, it's not that we don't appreciate this, " Emily said.

"Oh, let her continue, she hasn't even gotten to the good part yet."

Everyone turned around to see Dr. Peters standing there, smiling.

Garcia stood there stunned. "Uh, sir, I …"

"Oh relax Penelope." He said as if he'd known her all her life. "I usually like to have a show all our cards on the table moment near the beginning of an evaluation and this gives me the perfect opportunity. Go on, show them the good part. Show them Holly."

Garcia just stood there.

"Go on Penelope. It's all right."

Garcia hit a button, and the team saw a young blond woman pictured there. They also saw what looked to be crime scene photos of a car. Garcia tried, but she couldn't speak.

"Holly Preston," Dr. Peters began," she and I lived together. She was victim number 5 of the I-95 Ripper. He abducted young ladies, raped them, then killed them and left them in their cars on I-95." He paused for a moment, like he was suddenly somewhere else.

"You know, the ironic thing about it was, I didn't even report her missing at first. I thought she had left me. I proposed five times, and each time she told me marriage was an outdated institution. So, when she was gone, I figured she left me. Me and her pet ball python Binky."

"Anyway, once I was notified what had happened, I tried to inject myself into the case. Fortunately, wiser heads prevailed. I don't know what would have I happened if I was involved. They caught him."

He looked at the team. "Look, I'm not here as an enemy. I'm not even here because of Dr. Reid and Agent Prentiss. I'm here because the FBI is concerned about this team. You are brilliant and even driven individuals. Yet, everyone here has recently turned down career advancement to stay." He pulled out his small notebook.

"Agent Morgan has turned down an offer to run the White Collar task force in Chicago as well as one to run the New York office. Agent Jareau turned down a promotion on the organized crime task force. Agent Prentiss turned down two opportunities in counter-terrorism and organized crime, which given her romance with Dr. Reid, I can understand."

"Agent Rossi," Dr. Peters continued," has turned down offers to have his own team. Agent Hotchner as turned down an opportunity to run the White Collar division." He closed his notebook. "To say nothing of the fact that three universities have approached Dr. Reid with offers of full tenure if he joins their faculty. As for Penelope Garcia, McDonnell has tried to promote you three times to a management position in technical services only to have you decline."

"Who cares?" Rossi said. "Aren't these our choices?"

"Of course. Unless, you have worked so closely for so long that you have developed an unhealthy bond with each other. In addition to shadowing you on cases, I will also be interviewing all of you. Please, consider why you feel you would rather be here than anywhere else. And remember, I'm just here to figure out what is in your best interest, as well as that of the FBI. Truly."

* * *

_A/N: So what do we think of Dr. Peters? Next chapter, he starts interviewing members of the BAU starting with ...Chief Strauss?_


	18. Part V:Questions

_A/N: Dr. Peters has been shadowing the team for over a week. Now it's time for him to ask questions._

**Chapter 18: Questions**

"What we believe to be the motives of our conduct are usually but the pretexts for it." Miguel De Unamuno

* * *

Reid & Prentiss

She was tense. As they lay in bed together, he could sense it. They had just come home from a case, and he could feel her tension. Usually it was the opposite when they were home. Once the case was over, once they left the office and were alone, they were usually relaxed. In fact, he couldn't remember the last time he felt tension in her like in this when they were in bed.

"What's wrong?" he asked.

"I can't sleep. I'm …worried. Aren't you?"

"About what?"

"Dr. Peters. He's going to break up the team."

"You don't know that."

"It's obvious that's what he wants. Ever since that night in the briefing room…"

"I think you're wrong, Em. Strauss may want to break up the team, but I don't think he does. Even if he does, though, it'll fine. We knew the FBI might not let us work together."

"I can understand not wanting you and me to work together, but the whole team? Is it just me, or does it seem like some one always wants to do that? How many times has Strauss wanted to do that?

" He isn't Strauss. Somehow, we'll keep the team together."

"How are we going to do that?"

"I don't know, yet. We'll think of something. He starts the interviews tomorrow right? We'll be able to figure out what he's trying to learn once he asks questions. We'll talk after he sits down with you and…"

"No, you're going to Texas tomorrow."

"I'll cancel it. This is more important."

"No it's not. Listen, whatever Dr. Peters and Strauss are up to, they are not going to change what's important. If they want to break us up, then they'll it with us being us."

"When we decide that?"

"Just now. The last time you went down there, he was Adam. If only for a moment. You are helping him, you're doing something beautiful there and I'm not going to let this nonsense interfere with that." Her eyes were filled intensity, not so much from anger but passion.

He smiled, and started stroke her cheek. "Remember it's not a good idea to shoot people who are asking you questions. That's the kind of thing Strauss might use against us."

She was smiling too. "I don't need a gun to take either one of them out. I'll be fine tomorrow." She kissed him, long and hard. "I still can't sleep."

"Me either. What should we do about that?"

He rolled on top of her, and they started kissing some more. Then they started taking off each others clothing, and began kissing each others bodies. Kissing led to caresses. Caresses led to two bodies so deeply entwined, it was as if there were not two separate bodies, but one. When their energy was expended, they collapsed, still intertwined.

* * *

Erin Strauss

The next morning, Dr. Peters came into Section Chief Erin Strauss's office. After working closely with the team, he was ready to begin with the interviews. However, he felt before he started asking questions of the team, he had to attend to something with Strauss.

"So, how is the evaluation going?" she asked.

"Oh, it's wonderful. They are such interesting people. I'm so grateful for this opportunity. It's been wonderful to observe them in action. Today, I'll start with some one-on-one interviews. Then I'll be ready to make some recommendations."

"What is your thinking right now?"

"I haven't made my mind up yet, that's why I'll be asking questions first. It wouldn't make sense to decide first and then ask questions, now would it? I do want to thank you for the cases you flagged for me. Those were invaluable, very revealing.

"Really?"

"Oh, absolutely. Which leads me to one important question. Why do you hate them?"

"Excuse me?" The question caught her off guard.

"The team. You seem have a certain level of hostility towards them, or is it just Aaron Hotchner?"

"I don't know what you're talking about."

"Oh, come one Erin, it's fairly obvious. Like I said, the cases you flagged were quite revealing. _You_ wanted me to see them, most likely to question if the team should stay together. Is there something about them that offends you?"

"They are quite competent. I just have concerns."

"I'm sure. You know, it's kind of funny, Aaron Hotchner is under the impression I'm here because of a directive for the Director's office. I guess he didn't know you were the advocating for a different form of review for certain units. Really, you wanted someone like me to put this team under a microscope. Or is it just Aaron Hotchner?"

"Surely you can see they don't function like any other unit in the FBI."

"Well, each unit is somewhat unique, so you could really say that about every unit, couldn't you?"

"Dr. Peters, are you accusing me of something?"

"I'm just asking questions. You see, I think what really bothers you, is you don't understand them. A team of highly competent individuals, the kind that will always excel, yet they seem uninterested in advancement. They seem to never act out of self-interest. That flummoxes you, doesn't it? Does it make you question your life choices, Erin?"

"I find you questions unnecessary and insulting. You have no right to talk to me like this."

"You could always file a complaint against me. I understand there are about 20 or so pending. What's one more on the pile? In any case, I just want you to understand one thing. The next time you try to use me or someone like me in one of your little power games, _you_ will be the next person I put under a microscope."

He got up to leave. "Oh, Erin, just one thought, you really don't have to worry about Aaron Hotchner."

"What do you mean?"

"You see, I find most people in the FBI view their work either as a calling or a profession. You, view it a profession and the aim is to climb the highest rungs of the ladder. For Aaron Hotchner, on the other hand, this is a calling. Very few politicians and Presidents will ask someone like him to run the bureau. He's of no threat to you. Unless, of course, instead of politician a statesman looks at him. A true statesman, will pick the Aaron Hotchners of the world over you every time."

The look she gave him was full of venom.

He smiled warmly at her. "Have a pleasant day, Chief Strauss." And then he left.

Emily Prentiss

Dr. Peters was set up in a small office. There wasn't much there besides a desk and some chairs, but he said it was all he needed. Emily was sitting in one of the chairs positioned on front of the desk. He had several folders laid out in front of him. The folders were opened, arranged in what seemed to be totally random order.

Was this for show, she wondered.

"So, explain this custodial interview Dr. Reid's on again?"

"What's to explain?"

"Well, it doesn't seem to be a typical interview. This, uh," he flipped through one of the folders on the desk," Adam Jackson. He's visited Mr. Jackson what, 4 or 5 times in the last year? Yet, he doesn't seem to be asking the normal questions. He isn't asking Adam how it felt, why he picked the men he did, none of the standard question you usually ask in a custodial interview. Looking over the notes he's filed, it more resembles a therapists notes. Dr. Reid may be a genius. But he is not a therapist of any kind. So what is this?"

Emily had rehearsed in her head how to answer the question, if asked. She had several, carefully thought out answers. Now she was in the moment, though, she didn't use any of them. Instead she said," What's wrong with what he's doing, exactly?"

"I didn't say anything was wrong with it, I just don't understand it. This doesn't seem to meet most of the usual interview protocols."

"Some subjects call for an out of the box approach, and Dr. Reid is a master of unorthodox interview techniques."

"That may be, but I'm concerned with why he seems to spend so much time with this particular subject. It doesn't seem to make any sense to me. There are much more interesting and useful people to interview and study. Why could possibly warrant this much time, hmm?"

"What the hell are you talking about? Who the hell do you think you are, to come in here and say who Spencer should and shouldn't be interviewing? You come in here and tell us something's wrong with us because we would rather do this work than anything else in the FBI? Do you know what the sad thing is? You look at Adam Jackson, and all you see is a subject to study. Spencer looks at him and sees a deeply troubled person."

"He doesn't see a killer?"

"Yes, he is a killer. But…What do you see, when you look at Spencer?"

"What do you mean?"

"Everyone looks at him, and all they see some walking computer. That's all they think he is."

"Well, that brain of his is formidable."

"But that really isn't the most impressive thing about him."

"Then what is?"

"His heart. His compassion. He doesn't label people. He looks at Adam, and he sees someone deeply troubled who needs help. What's so wrong with trying to help someone like that?"

"Nothing. Nothing at all. It just strikes me as odd to feel compassion for a killer."

"That's interesting, considering your testimony at Edward Brown's trial."

"I'm sorry?"

"Edward Brown. The I-95 Ripper. You testified at his sentencing hearing, strongly advocating against capital punishment."

Dr. Peters smiled. "Ah, so you looked into that."

"Of course we did. I would have thought you would want to see him die."

"Me personally, of course. Holly on the hand… Well, she didn't have a vengeful bone in her body. She wouldn't want revenge. So…Tell me, if it was up to you, would want the team to stay together?"

"Of course."

"Why? I mean, don't any of you want to advance?"

She let out an expansive sigh. "I can't speak for anyone else. For me, sure I wouldn't mind moving up someday. But the work that we do here, it's very important work, and it's very satisfying work. It wears at us sometime, but I can't think of anything else that makes me feel like I'm doing what I'm meant to do with my life."

"So, you look at this more like a calling, than a job."

"Yes."

"Hmm." He nodded, and wrote something down in his small notebook.

Derek Morgan

It had been a long week. Everyone had spend hours sitting in Dr. Peters' makeshift office, and Derek was the last one. He had no interest in being there, didn't much care if Dr. Peters knew it. He had his fill of Strauss and the administration questioning and second guessing them.

"So Agent Morgan, I'm interested in why you've stayed here."

"It's where I need to be."

"You know, I've reviewed this and I noticed that you were offered the New York office, despite the negative endorsement of your supervisor."

"That's why I turned down. It mattered to me that Hotch didn't think I was ready."

"But he does now, so why stay?"

"It's a good team. I like the work we do, and I don't feel any need to go somewhere else."

"There's a case file I've been trying to get access to. When you were arrested for murder while on leave. It's been sealed on the recommendation of Agent Hotchner and Gideon. I haven't been able to get it unsealed. What is it about that case that cased them to make sure the details never saw the light of day?"

"It doesn't matter."

"Oh, everything matters. Every detail is important, you know that. This case, it was intertwined with your childhood, isn't it?"

"Again, why does it matter?"

"Because you're not the only profiler in the room. I think the reason you stay here, is you have trust issues. You don't trust many people, but you've come to trust this team. I'm guessing some happened in your childhood that affected you, some trauma that still haunts you. I wonder if forcing you to face that, wouldn't be a helpful to you."

"Do you like this? Playing God with our lives? Everyday we do good work. Yet, it seems like every time we turn around, some one from administration is screwing with us. Why do you want to break up this team?"

"I am just trying to determine what is in best interest of everyone. Why does it matter that the team stays together?"

"You've seen at work, we work well together. This is a hard job, and we do it well. Why do you want to screw with it?"

"I don't. I'm just asking questions. I'm only here to examine things deeply. And I just want to make it clear that I'm here only to make suggestions. But let me just ask you one very important one…If I told you I would recommend the team be left alone if you applied for a transfer, would you?"

"What the hell kind of game are you playing?"

"No game. Just posing a hypothetical. Would leave the team if it meant the rest of them could stay together?"

"Yes."

"Hmmm." He made a note in his notebook.

* * *

About twenty minutes later, Dr. Peters was in Hotch's office. "I have good news for you, I'm finished."

"Finished?"

With the evaluation. Tomorrow I'll be presenting it to your Section Chief as well as her supervisor. I've arranged for it to be done in the conference room. I think you should all be there."

* * *

_A/N: Coming up next, the moment of truth..._


	19. Part V: Answers

**Chapter 19: Answers**

"We know truth, not only by reason, but also by the heart." Blaise Pascal

* * *

The BAU conference room was packed. In addition to the team, Chief Strauss and Deputy Director Henderson were there. The Deputy Director also had two aides whose main purpose was to look impressive.

What intrigued Emily though, was the look Strauss gave Dr. Peters. It was the look she imagined a cobra gave a mongoose. Was the man simply a genius at rubbing people the wrong way, or did he give the Section Chief an answer she didn't like?

Dr. Peters looked around, positively beaming. "Well, it's so good to see all of you here. It's kind of exciting, going over the fruits of one's labor. Especially with such an interesting case as this. I really have to thank you Chief Strauss for inviting me to it."

"Dr. Peters," Deputy Director Henderson said in a weary tone," do you think we could dispense with the small talk. I'd like to get on with this, if we could."

"I'm sorry, sir. I forgot you're a 'down to brass tacks' sort of a fellow. Me, I like to build up to things. I think it helps reduce tension, but perhaps you're right. I was asked to perform an evaluation of the team and consider closely whether this team is operating as best as it could. Specific concerns raised were about all every member of the team has turned down opportunities for advancement recently. Additionally, there are two members of the team, Dr. Reid and Agent Prentiss, who are in a romantic relationship. In fact the two are engaged to be married in a couple of months."

"First of all, I think it goes without saying that this team is a truly unique group. There are many teams in the BAU, but there is a unique dynamic to this team that made this a very challenging case to consider. What I have observed is that this team functions less as a unit with a strict hierarchical structure, and more like a jazz ensemble. The team members riff off each other and have a synergy that is beautiful to behold."

Emily looked at Spencer. Spencer had Dr. Peter's report in front of him. As Dr. Peters spoke, Spencer was running his hand down the pages. Most people wouldn't think it was possible that it was reading and absorbing every word, but she knew he was. She nudged him, and they shared a look. Hers was a question. He smiled and nodded.

"I recognize that some people were," Dr. Peters paused," _concerned_ that the members of this team of turned down promotions and transferred that would have furthered their careers. In my experience, I've found that members of the bureau fall into two categories, those to whom this is a job those to whom this is a calling. I can tell you with absolute conviction the members of this team view their work as a calling. They do this work, with this team, because they feel it is the best thing they can do."

"Dr. Peters," Henderson said," I believe our main concern was that the members of the team had developed unhealthy attachments to each other."

"I can understand that concern, sir, but I think it's easy to confuse close camaraderie with unhealthy attachment. After observing them on cases and conducting interviews with the team, I see no indication they are anything but a highly functioning team. They way function each, that high level of synergy it is a strength that I've seen duplicated in another team. This brings us to the final question regarding Dr. Reid and Agent Prentiss."

"Yes?" The Deputy Director was reviewing the folder in front of him. He could not read anywhere close to as fast as Reid, so he was anxious for the answer.

"The two of them conduct themselves on cases and in the office with a high degree of professionalism. If I didn't know about the nature of their relationship, I couldn't tell from how they act in the office and out in the field. In cases like this, the issue is whether two agents this close to each other can inadvertently have a negative impact on unit cohesion. Given the closeness the team has, I find that unlikely. I do not endorse any changes in the personnel of the this team at the current time."

The Deputy Director nodded. "Thank you Dr. Peters. Erin, we have some things we need to discuss." With that, the Deputy Director, his aides, and Chief Strauss departed.

"Well, that went fairly well I think." He looked at the team. "You know, I've really enjoyed our time together. I know you have cases to review, so I'll get out of you way."

"Before you," Spencer said," I'm curious. Exactly when did you arrive at the conclusion that everything was fine. The conclusions you outline here. You don't explain how you arrived at them."

"Oh, I've found that the administration rarely likes to the details of how I arrive at conclusion. They just want the conclusions. As to your question Dr. Reid, during the first case, I was certain no changes were necessary. But, like you, I am a man science so I like to confirm my intuition is correct. In this case , it was, but I have had cases where my first impression was incorrect. I'm so happy that wasn't the case this time. Good day." He walked out of the conference room, whistling contently.

Morgan followed him outside, "Doctor, can I have a word with you?"

"Certainly, Agent Morgan, what is it?"

"You asked me to put in for a transfer."

"No I didn't. I asked a hypothetical, if you would be willing if it would keep the rest of the team together. It's to your credit that you would. I'm sure you never asked yourself that question. It's good to have someone ask those hard questions. So, if you want to transfer, do it. If you want to stay, then stay. Good luck Derek Morgan. Whatever demon still pesters you, I hope you find a way to wrestle it out of your life. Trust me when I tell you, you should never let ghosts from the past rule your future."

* * *

That evening found the team in Phoenix, AZ working a serial rape case. As they were getting ready to break for the evening, Hotch told them he had an announcement.

"I just got off the phone with Chief Strauss. It looks like both she and the Deputy Director are taking Dr. Peters recommendations to heart. The team is staying intact. So, get some rest and we'll start fresh in the morning."

In their room at the hotel, Spencer Reid and Emily Prentiss had a lot of things to go over. Not for the case, but for their wedding. They had intended to go over a lot things that night, but they were too tired to want to do it. Instead, went to bed. Sleep however, did not come easily. As they lay next to each other, Spencer felt Emily's foot slide up and down his leg.

"You're feeling frisky." he said.

"I'm happy. You were right, you know. You knew he wasn't here to break up the team."

"Yeah, I didn't really know. I just had a feeling but no hard fact. Nothing I could point to, I just went on faith."

"I keep hearing those words come out of your mouth more and more these days."

"Is that bad?"

"No. I kind of like it. I'm just curious where it comes from."

"You. And us. A few months ago, I wasn't certain we would stay together, and look at us now. It won't be long before we're husband and wife."

"That will be nice." She ran her fingers through his hair. His response was to roll on top of her and begin kissing her. She took off his sleeping shirt, and started to caress his skin. As she did this, took off her sleeping shirt and started to continue to kiss his way down her body. Very soon, she was on top of him, straddling him and the two of them had a private celebration of their victory to keep the team intact.

* * *

_A/N: This ends the Fifth part of the story. We now move into the last part of the story. I am happy to report the major angst part of the story is now safely behind us. well, mostly..._


	20. Part VI: Wedding

**Chapter 20: Wedding**

_"All tragedies are finish'd by a death, all comedies by a marriage." – Lord Byron_

* * *

Spencer Reid couldn't sleep.

Tomorrow he and Emily would be married. It was a day he had been looking forward to for several months. If it was up to only him, this would have been taken care of months ago. Emily, however, was adamant that an elopement was simply not acceptable to her.

Reid knew if it was important to her, then it was important.

At this particular moment, however, going through with a more traditional wedding ceremony really sucked. Specifically, the tradition of the bride and groom not spending the night before with each other. He found it almost impossible to sleep in the bed alone. He missed the feeling of warmth in bed that her body provided.

Of course, he wasn't alone in the apartment. He had one guest, who had insisted in staying with Spencer. Reid hoped he hadn't woken up.

When Reid couldn't sleep, he when into the kitchen and made himself a cup of coffee.

"If you're having trouble sleeping, I don't think that's going to help Spencer."

"I don't think I would fall asleep if I took a whole bottle of tranquilizers, Jason."

Jason Gideon, former profiler, former FBI agent, had insisted on staying with Spencer on the night before the young man got married. "It's just nerves. Tomorrow will be a big day, then everything will be fine."

"Everything would be fine right now if Emily was here. This is really a stupid tradition. It's based on the notion that the bride and groom haven't been with each other before the wedding night."

"We need our rituals and traditions. Besides, its only for 1 night."

"I know. Still, I miss her. You know, I really am fine. I don't need anyone to watch over me."

"I know that Spencer. The truth is, I wanted to be here not so much for you as for me."

"I don't understand."

"I wanted to thank you, for inviting me to the wedding. I wasn't sure you would want to talk to me after our last visit.

" We, Emily and I, wanted to share this day with friends and family. Of course I wanted you to share it. As for last time, it was fine. I mean, I've missed you. There have been sometimes in the last few years I could have used your advice."

"But you didn't need it."

"I mean about Emily."

"Spencer, I am the last person you should ever come to with relationship questions. You, on the other hand, have done quite well. I mean, you and Emily, it's gone well... the wedding plans."

"Not always. Emily's parents wanted to pay for everything. Her Mom wanted a huge wedding, and a reception like a state dinner."

"But you stood your ground."

"We stood our ground. After you left that night, Emily and I talked about it. We decided on a small Church wedding and a simple ceremony. It made it easy, I think, that we were clear with each other."

"How did you find the church? I mean, usually you have to book things a year ahead."

"Well, we're members there."

Gideon's eyebrows were raised in surprise. "Members? I find that a little surprising. I've never known you to be even a little religious."

"Yeah, I know. Emily didn't want to be married by just anyone, so we started visiting churches. We found this one, and, I don't know. We went there two or three Sundays in a row. Then the minister suggested that maybe we should join. We had a meeting with him, and I explained I wasn't sure I believed in God."

"What did he say?"

"He asked if I thought there was no divine being. I told him I wasn't sure."

"What did he say to that?"

"He told me that everyone struggles with faith, and that he welcomed questions. We joined a few weeks later. That's we started pre-marital counseling with him too."

"Really?"

"It's a non-denominational church, so he kind of follows his own rules for performing weddings. He prefers to do pre-marital counseling with people. It helped."

"You know Spencer, you may not relize it, but you've come a long way in a few years. When I left, you never would have done anything like this."

"It's Emily."

"You should try to get some sleep. It'll be a long day tomorrow." Spencer reluctantly headed to bed.

* * *

The next morning, Reid got up to the smell of coffee and the best eggs he had ever smelled. Gideon had made breakfast fore the two of them. After they ate, they both got dressed and headed to the church. Morgan was there waiting for them. He looked very good in a tux. Gideon smiled at him and said,"He's all yours Morgan. I'm going to take my seat and enjoy it."

"Is he all right?"

"Sure, he didn't much sleep, but he's fine."

The next few hours were the most agonizing of Spencer's life. Mostly because he didn't have anything to do but wait for the ceremony. Morgan sat with him. Spencer was glad he had asked him to be his best man.

When the ceremony finally started, Reid stood at the alter next to Morgan, as his best man, and Hotch's son Jack, who was the ring bearer. Spencer looked out at the people in the pews. He and Emily had manged to fill the pews with friends and family. Reid had thought it would be lopsided, but once they started working on the guest list, he realized he actually had several people to share this day with. What he was gladdest about was that his Mom and Dad were there. He was glad he and his Dad arranged for his Mom to be here for a few days. His father had signed her out of Bennington, and they taken a train to be here.

Then the music started. Spencer turned to see George Prentiss walking down the aisle next to Emily. Emily...she looked so beautiful in her white dress. Spencer had imagined what if would be like to be here, to be married to her. The feeling he had, as he saw her slowly walk towards him was better than he had imagined. For a moment, he believed there might be a God, after all.

After what seemed like an eternity, Emily took her place beside JJ, who was serving as the maid of honor. Spencer couldn't really tell anyone what happened between the moments Emily made her way down the aisle and when it was time for the vows. He spent all of his energy looking at Emily. She never looked lovelier.

Then Pastor Dietrich said," Spencer and Emily have written their own vows, so we will let them exchange them now."

Emily took Spencer's hand and said,"Spencer, it feels like I've been searching for you my whole life. I thank God I found you, and I thank God we didn't give up on each other. I love you to the depth, breath, and height my soul can reach, I promise to love you like that and more for the rest of my life."

Spencer looked at her and said,"Emily, I never thought I would find anyone who could love or make me feel as loved as you have. I love you freely, I love you purely, and will love with everything I have until I die."

After the rings were exchanged, Pastor Dietrich said," By the power invested in me by the State of Virginia, I know pronounce you man and wife."

They kissed then, and it seemed to Spencer that in that moment, his life changed forever. Up till now, a part of him had worried something might happen to spoil this day. But now he knew nothing could.

* * *

_A/N: Emily's and Spencer's vows are based on Elizabeth Barrett Browning's sonnett XLIII:"How do I love thee?"_


	21. Part VI: Honeymoon

**Chapter 21: Honeymoon**

"i like my body when it is with your

body. It is so quite a new thing.

Muscles better and nerves more.

i like your body. i like what it does,

i like its hows." – e e cummings

* * *

For Emily, life changed forever as soon as the music started. Her father had his arm in hers. As they walked down the aisle, all she focused on was Spencer. He looked so dashing in his tux. This is real, she thought, we're doing this. In about twenty-minutes, Pastor Dietrich will pronounce us husband and wife.

As soon as they exchanged their vows, as soon as they pronounced husband and wife, Spencer kissed her. They had kissed hundreds of times, may even thousand since they first started dating, but that kiss, in their church, in front of their friends and family, that kiss blew her away. Emily's life was changed forever.

Thank God.

As soon as she said yes to Spencer's proposal, she knew this was what she wanted. She knew she wanted her father to give her away, she wanted her mother to sit in a pew and be the mother of the bride. She wanted his parents there, her friends and family there, most of all, she wanted to wear a proper wedding dress and have this moment. She wanted to know, to feel that her life had changed.

After the ceremony, there were pictures and food. At the reception there was dancing. She danced with Spencer. Spencer danced with his mother. Emily danced with his father. She danced with her father. He dance with her mother. The dances continued, then there were the toasts followed by cake. The day wore on, turning to evening, turning to night.

Would Spencer remember every moment perfectly? Did happiness affect his memory as much as sadness?

It didn't really matter, she supposed. She was his and he was hers, they made that commitment in a very real way. Today felt like a victory in a war she had been fighting with herself since she was a girl. As the two of them walked to their room in the hotel where they held the reception, she suddenly felt herself be scooped up by Spencer. She let out a girlish shriek and asked,"What are you doing?"

"I think it's tradition to carry the bride over the threshold."

"Just don't hurt yourself." She smirked.

"It's not like I haven't done this before." He carried her inside, and he didn't stop until they were in the bedroom. He gently put her on the bed, and then he started kissing her. He started being on top of her, but somehow she managed reverse that. As she kissed him, she managed to undo his vest, tie and shirt before her dress began to annoy her. She stood up, trying to figure out how to undo the dress.

"Crap, it took three of us to get me in this thing."

"Don't worry Mrs. Reid, I can manage to relieve you of that." Before she could make a comment about the Mrs. Reid comment, they actually hadn't discussed last names yet, somehow he had manged to undo the zipper in the back, and caused the dress to fall off of her. By the time the garment hit the floor he was kissing her. Soon he had scooped her up again, and they were both back on the bed. By then, she was occupied by other things much more urgent than her last name.

Things like kissing Spencer down his jawline, and lightly raking her fingers down his chest. He unlatched her bra, and tried to kiss her breasts. He tried, but she kept them out of his reach.

"You're a tease, Mrs. Reid."

"I'm not sure you're ready for them, Mr. Prentiss," she said with a smile.

His response was to tickle her with his long delicate fingers. She responded in kind, and laughter soon filled the room.

* * *

A few days later, they were on their honeymoon. Rather than going overseas or to some exotic locale, they opted for a rented house in a place called Mexico Beach. Mexico Beach is a small town on the Florida panhandle. It's right on the coast, so they could go to the beach everyday, but far away from places Daytona so that the days were quiet. In the morning, they would get up and have breakfast. Then they would walk down to the beach, sometimes they would swim, sometimes they would just walk along the beach, sometimes they would just sit and watch people enjoy the beach around them. Then they would have lunch, and go someplace. In the afternoons and evening, they frequently read in the house.

Every evening, just before sunset, they would go on a long walk along the beach to watch the sunset. They would walk hand in hand, sometimes they would talk, sometimes they would walk in silence. Every night they walked, and they felt a happiness and a peace they had never before experienced. What they never did, was communicate with the team. They both decided their honeymoon would be a complete separation from the team, the FBI, and the world of unsubs.

One night, on their way back from their evening walk, Emily asked Reid,"Are you happy?"

"Happy?"

"Now that we're married, are you happy? Was what we went through for months worth it?"

He was quiet for a moment then he said,"More than worth it. My only regret is that we didn't do this sooner."

"What? Get married? Or date?"

"All of it. If I had to do it all over, I would have asked you to marry me the first day you came to the BAU."

"That would have been awkward. 'Hi, my name is Emily Prentiss.' 'Hi, I'm Spencer Reid, will you marry me?' I don't know how I would have reacted."

"It doesn't really matter, Mrs. Reid, we're married now. Are you happy?"

"Oh absolutely Dr. Prentiss. I've never been happier. The only thing that would make me happier than I am right would be if when we got back to the house my husband ravaged me."

"I love you when you use words like that."

"What, 'ravaged'?"

"No, 'my husband'."

She squeezed his hand tightly.

When they got back to the house, he grabbed her started kissing her.

"You know, Spencer, I didn't mean you had to ravage me as soon as we got here."

"Well, I've been thinking about doing this ever since you said it."

They made their way to the couch, and Spencer took off Emily's shirt. She returned the favor. As they continued to kiss each other all over their respective bodies, Emily light bit Reid on the shoulder, which she knew would only excite him. She felt his hardness through his pants. He took them off and she removed his boxers. Then she took his hardness in her moved. As she began to lavish affection on it, he moaned in pleasure. Finally, when he was almost on the brink of orgasm, she climbed on top of him and said,"my turn."

If anyone was watching, they would have seen Emily riding Spencer, the whole time time Spencer would moan with increasing pleasure. Then, he began to buck violently underneath her. As he did, she began to go to the edge of orgasm herself. She held nothing back, and began to scream with pleasure. After both of them climaxed, she collapsed on top of him. They stayed like for a while. Then Spencer picked her up and carried her into the bedroom.

Then they started all over again.

* * *

_A/N: Mexico Beach is a real place on the Florida Pan Handle, and gets my vote for best beach. I'm grateful for the people who have reviewed this fic and who have enjoyed it. We have only two chapters left, and then it is over. Next chapter is one, last Baby Genius Talk_


	22. Part VI:The Last Baby Genius Discussion

**Chapter 22: The Last Baby Genius Discussion**

"Hope unbelieved is always considered nonsense. But hope believed is history in the process of being changed." – Jim Wallis

* * *

On the last day of their honeymoon, Spencer and Emily resisted getting out of bed. Once they went back home, they wouldn't always have the luxury of staying on bed so they wanted to enjoy it. As they lay there, Emily said,"Do you know what I'm thinking about?"

"Does it involve us getting out of bed? If it does, then I'm against it."

She smacked his arm. "I'm being serious Dr. Prentiss. I was thinking about that day at the grave, when you proposed."

"What about it Mrs. Reid?"

"You made this great impassioned speech about wanting a family. Kids, I mean. How serious were you?"

Spencer rolled over on one side, so he could more easily look at her face. "Where are you going with this?"

"I was just thinking, if we're both serious about this, it isn't going to just happen. We have to make it happen. I think we both know that how easy it is for things to go wrong. Also, the longer we wait, the more the risk factors go up."

"Are you saying, you think we need to start trying?"

"I'm saying we've been mating like rabbits, but that's not all we need to do to have kids. I don't want our angel to have any more company. I think if we go back and we don't hit the ground running, we'll never do it."

Spencer ran a finger down his wife's cheek, lost in thought for a moment. "You're right. I know you're right. What do you think we should do?"

"I think we should make an appointment to see my obstetrician and see what we should do. I think we need to figure what to do and do it."

"You realize, that's not all we have to do. We still have two apartments between us. We're going to figure out where we're going to live."

"I don't think it should be either place. We need a place that didn't start out as your or mine, but as ours."

"You're probably right. Should we head back early to get a head start on this?"

"Absolutely not, Dr. Prentiss. I'll call for an appointment later on today. This afternoon we can figure how to handle finding a place for us."

"So what did you have in mind for right now, Mrs. Reid?"

"Well, I'm thinking the fun part of making babies might be a good idea, since we're in bed and it's our honeymoon, sweetie..."

"I knew there was a reason I married you."

* * *

A week after their honeymoon, Spencer and Emily were getting ready to leave work early. They had a doctor's appointment that afternoon with the OB/GYN, but all the rest of team knew is that the two of them had a doctor's appointment.

"So where are you heading to again?" Morgan asked.

"The doctor's office," Reid answered. He and Emily decided to wait to tell the team they had decided to get pregnant.

"Is that what they call it these days?"

"Excuse me?" Emily said.

"You know, what they call getting time alone for ..." he smiled suggestively.

"You know Morgan,"Spencer said,"there is more to marriage than pleasantries like that."

"So what's the point?"

"I'm not sure I can explain it. It has to do with finding someone you want to be with for the rest of your life."

"Yeah, I don't see that happening anytime soon. Seriously though, where you two going?"

"We told you, the doctor's."

"Yeah, but for what?"

"Oh let's just tell him, Dr. Prentiss." Emily said,"we're looking into organ transplants."

"What?" Morgan was baffled.

"We already have each others hearts, so we thought we'd exchange a few more body parts. We're going to see about exchanging some bone fragments, maybe a kidney. I don't if we can exchange brain tissue, but that would be cool."

Morgan's mouth hung open.

"I still want want a part of your ovaries too, Mrs. Reid."

"Only if I can have some of your testes."

"Done."

"Are you two serious?" Morgasn couldn't believe what he was hearing.

"No, you idiot." Emily started laughing.

Morgan held his head in his hand. " I don't believe you two."

"Morgan, did you hear they took gullible out of the dictionary? You should check it out." Spencer smiled as he took Emily's arm in his and they walked out of the bullpen.

* * *

A few weeks later, the entire BAU family were invited to the Emily and Spencer's new house. New was not the best word to describe the house. They bought it at a foreclosure auction. It had created some tension between the married couple and their in-laws. Both set of parents had wanted to help the couple get a house, but the couple was adamant about wanting to get the house by themselves.

"How much of a fuss did your Mom raise?" Garcia asked. She and JJ knew how much the Ambassador had tried to control the wedding and wanted it to be a bigger affair than it was, so she figured Emily's mom would be just as anxious that her daughter have a special house.

"it wasn't just Mom. Both of them wanted to help us get a house, preferably close to them. We worked it out, eventually. I was afraid Spencer was going to challenge Dad to a fist fight again."

"One time, one time I challenge him a bit and I never hear the end of it. When are you going to let that go?"

"Since you almost gave me a heart-attack that night, never."

Rossi laughed and clapped Reid on the shoulder, "Get used to it, kid. That's how it is when you're married." There was a wave of good-natured laughter at that. Spencer and Emily were enjoying their guests. JJ had brought Will and Henry, Garcia brought Kevin, and Hotch had brought Jack.

It was a pleasant day outside, so the house warming had become a picnic. As the gathered company were eating, Spencer couldn't help looking at JJ fussing over Henry and Hotch doing the same with Jack.

"Thinking about the future kid?" Morgan had noticed where Reid's attention was.

"We're doing more than thinking about it. We're trying to get pregnant."

"Come again?" Suddenly Reid had everyone's undivided attention.

"Spencer and I are trying to get pregnant." Emily said. "We don't want to be a family of two. We want to be parents, so we're trying. We're working with my doctor, and she thinks there's a good chance we could have a smooth pregnancy. I'm taking some medication and I'm cutting back on the caffeine. She said it's a good idea to start eating as if I was pregnant."

Everyone took a moment to process that, then Hotch said,"You two will make great parents. I know it." That began a round of well-wishing and congratulations all around. As the day wore on, after the guests had left and it was just the two of them, Spencer said,"Well, that wasn't exactly how we had planned on telling them."

"Well, sometimes things don't go as planned. That's been a good part of our relationship, hasn't it?"

"I didn't say it was bad. I'm glad they know, Mrs. Reid."

"Good. Because I was going to tell them no matter what, Dr. Prentiss."

The two of them smiled as they finished cleaning up.

* * *

_A/N: Believe it or not, we're almost done here. Just one more chapter to go..._


	23. Part VI: Victory

**Chapter 23: Victory**

"Wisdom comes only through suffering." - Aeschylus

* * *

About a month after their house warming party, Spencer and Emily were sitting in Dr. Frankl's office for a session. It felt so different than their first session, which seemed like a lifetime ago. Back then, it felt like everything was wrong, and that everything they had done was a mistake. Now, though, it seemed like everything that had happened before hand was just to prepare them to be together.

Dr. Frankl looked at the couple sitting on the couch in his office. It also seemed to him that they were vastly different than when they first came into his office several months ago. When once they sat apart, and couldn't look at each other, now they sat next to each other and held hands. Where in the first session, they stole glances at the other, now they looked each other in the eye. There could be no doubt in his mind that these two, now husband and wife, loved each other deeply.

"So talk to me about work. How has is been, since the wedding?"

"It's good," Emily said. "We moved our desks a little, so our desks don't face each other. It makes it easier to just be co-workers."

"We still share a room when we're on a case," Spencer said.

"And how is it, when women notice Reid? That's been an issue, hasn't it?"

"I show them this," Spencer said holding up his where his wedding band was. "Most women take the hint."

"But he still passes me a note when it happens. I still don't know how he puts them in my pocket without me noticing."

"A magician never reveals his secret."

She smiled warmly. "That's okay, it'll be more fun figuring it out anyway."

"What about children? I know when the two of you first came here, you couldn't even talk about them. I know we've talked about it since then and it seems like you both want them. I know you feel reluctant after the miscarriage."

Emily smiled. "Actually, I'm four weeks pregnant."

"Congratulations. How does that feel?"

""it feels great," Spencer said. "I mean, we're being more careful this time, obvious, but it feels great."

"I've thought about," Emily said,"We've been lucky in a lot of ways. We got together, almost by accident and we came close to losing each other. But now…"

"Now, we know exactly what we want." Spencer said. "We're a family now, and we want the family to just get bigger."

"Do you think that can happen, with your work, I mean?"

"We think so. If it can't, we'll face that." Emily said.

"I'm going to start teaching a class at the academy in the fall. If it goes well, maybe I'll move to teaching full-time. It's at least a thought." Spencer said.

"You're okay with that?"

"We both are," he said.

"So everything's perfect?"

"Of course not," Emily said. "But it doesn't have to be perfect. But it's good enough. We have each other, we have our families and friends. A new house."

"Well, new to us."Spencer said. "It's a fixer-upper, but that's fun too."

"Morgan's helping us with it. And Will. We had Mom and Dad over the other night."

"And that's going well, with your parents?"

"Mostly. Mom would have preferred we live closer to her, but everything is going well."

"And how about your parents, Spencer? Your father?"

"It's funny, ever since the pep talk he gave me when Emily and I were separated, I've been calling him every other week. Things feel better, better than they ever have."

"What about Jason Gideon?"

"We've talked once since the wedding. He's doing well. I think we've made peace with each other, and I'm grateful for that."

"Is there anything you would change, if you could, about the the last year?"

Both Emily and Spencer laughed.

"Did I say something funny?" Dr. Frankl asked.

"The other night we talked about that. It's just that we both think of all the time we wasted avoiding getting together to begin with. That lead to to wonder, when was the moment we really noticed the other. I mean really wondering how we could have started this sooner."

"And?"

"I don't know why, but I always remember the time he hit me with an empty film canister."

"Film canister?"

"It was an accident," Spencer said. I was demonstrating a physics principle, using the empty canister as a rocket. It hit her in the head as she was entering the bullpen."

"I see. And this meant something to you, Emily?"

"I don't know why, but it just felt like the first time I saw the side of Reid that was playful. He hides that side so often and it's just adorable."

"And you, Spencer? there was a moment you felt it could have started sooner?"

"There was a cause when, well Hotch asked what love was. I mean, he didn't really want to know, but I couldn't help myself. I explained about the chemicals in the brain associated with love, and I was explaining they were in ..."

"Chocolate." Emily said. "I knew that."

"I got excited. Usually people just kinda stand with a glazed look in their eye when I explain things, but she didn't. Not then, in fact, she hardly ever does. If I had been a little more confident then, maybe I would have said something, maybe we would have started dating long before this."

"I'm not sure it matters," Emily said. "We're together now. Isn't that what matters?"

"That's a good thought," Dr. Frankl said.

Later on, when the session was over and they walked out of Dr. Frankl's office, they held hands. They paused in front of their car in parking lot, still holding hands, and looking at each other. Years later, they would tell their children this was the moment when they knew they had won their chosen battle for love. This was the moment, standing in the parking lot when it finally sunk in that they were no longer alone, not the way they were the first time they came here. They had grown into each other, and whatever troubles and triumphs came their way, they would face everything together.

* * *

_A/N:It is time for all stories to end, and this is the place where this one comes to a happy conclusion. I want to thank everyone who has reviewed this and encourage me as I wrote it._

_I want to assure everyone that I am far from done writing about these two. I have several stories forming in my mind. I will be putting them aside in the month of April. I will be participating in a writing challenge called ScriptFrenzy, which is to write a 100 page screenplay in 30 days. Once I'm done with that, however, I have both a sequel to this and to my other fic, "Reid Makes the First Move" planned._


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